You will never avoid long hours in big law if you want to stick around (although you are definitely on high end). You don't deserve disrespect like that. Not worth it and it likely will get worse before it gets better. There are plenty of firms where you'll find a much healthier environment, particularly outside of NYC. I would start hunting for something different and get out of NYC. Or would batten down the hatches and prepare for the worst over the next couple years. Calibrate your expectations and just know it won't get better, but that is not because of you and does not mean you are not a good lawyer.