So I apologize in advance for being a downer.

My 14 year old nephew going into 9th grade went to football camp this week. For some reason he got stuck rooming near some juniors and seniors, and they are doing this hazing thing that they are calling "raping," where they surprise jump on top of kids in their beds in the middle of the night and dry hump them from behind. He was the victim at 1:30AM last night. He called my sister to pick him up because he was scared. My sister called the coach who did one of these "boys will be boys" things. I had to put up with that trash 25 years ago when I was in high school football, but I thought it was over nowadays.

He's not even in high school yet. I don't understand why this still goes on. Does this really help anybody in terms of espirit de corps? Is it the 4th quarter of the state championship game and the players huddle and say, "let's rally and win this one together because we hazed those younger kids several months ago!" It seems like the perfect example of high risk, low reward, many coaches would make a stink or kick kids off the team because of threat of lawsuits and heightened sensitivity, but it really benefits no one to just be mean. I also feel like this should be said on Day 1 of hellweek or camp: "Work hard, drink enough water, and don't haze anyone because it's just not worth it and you will get kicked off the team."

AND... what these kids who did the hazing do NOT know, is that my nephew is a really sweet kid (I'm not just saying that because he's my nephew, I don't like most of my other relatives), who has dealt with so much over his short life. His parents are in the midst of a contentious divorce. He probably has asperbergers and had no friends for the first 12 years of his life because he was too smart for his own good and smelly and socially awkward. 3 years ago, one of his classmates told him that no one likes him and he should just kill himself. Finally because he is super tall (6'5'' at age 14) he has made some friends through sports which was one of the few highlights in his life, but I doubt he will go back. Do the kids know about what he's dealing with? No, but that's the point. You never know what someone is dealing with, so it is better to be kind. Not to mention that statistically speaking some percentage of these kids are going to have had been sexually abused in the past; you don't know so re-traumatize them?

What makes humans do such terrible things? This is a HS in Utah. Why haven't one of the other older players with a strong background stepped in to stop it? And if you have young boys who are this age, tell them not to do this (obviously), but also encourage them to step up for the little guy even if it will make them unpopular. One of my favorite talks is Richard Edgley "behold the man," where he talks about what true courage is and he tells the story of a kid on a high school basketball team trip. All the other kids were watching pornography in the hotel room so he went outside and walked around by himself for two hours, that is real "manliness" and courage. We need more of that.