So sorry for this awful experience.

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Jun 27, 2024
2:23:30pm

DizzyDean All-American

The “boys will be boys” coach should be fired. Welcome to 2024 coach.

This message has been modified

Originally posted on Jun 27, 2024 at 2:23:30pm

Message modified by DizzyDean on Jun 27, 2024 at 2:25:44pm

Message modified by DizzyDean on Jun 27, 2024 at 2:25:54pm

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DizzyDean

Previous username: bluegato
Bio page: DizzyDean
Joined: Jul 21, 2009
Last login: Jul 1, 2024
Total posts: 7,265 (6 FO)

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Messages

Author

Time

Feeling a little down about the future of the human race today...

lilpenny

Jun 27, 10:57am

Call the school. That would never fly in my area. I am shocked to hear about stuff like this being phrased as

Baron

Jun 27, 11:03am

"Boys will be boys" refers to rough play, NOT sexual harrassment. Extremely

ninja math

Jun 27, 7:04pm

Not harassment, assault.

ochobeeguy

Jun 28, 9:08am

That's sexual assault. Don't let it slide

unsq312

Jun 27, 11:06am

CALL IMMEDIATELY and REPORT

karatekid

Jun 27, 2:04pm

This

MasterOfMyDomain

Jun 27, 2:18pm

It is assault. If the coach AND school don't give satisfactory responses, police

NYC and Japan

Jun 27, 2:36pm

Call the police first. The school will try to sweep it under the rug. Can’t hurt

GilbertAZCougar

Jun 27, 4:48pm

This needs to be reported immediately.

marticorp

Jun 27, 11:06am

That needs to be a call to the principal of the school TODAY. If she doesn't

Don_Juan_El_Guapo

Jun 27, 11:06am

Please speak with his parents and encourage them to report this to the admin.

Hambone

Jun 27, 11:08am

If it turns into a title IX complaint, then the final report will have all

Don_Juan_El_Guapo

Jun 27, 11:13am

I'd use the words "unwanted sexual contact"

El Jefe

Jun 27, 11:13am

I would use the words "Utah Criminal Code 79-7-702.1(1)."

YSMACK

Jun 27, 11:31am

I'm afraid reporting the abuse would just make things worse for the victim

BYU Fan

Jun 27, 11:19am

If this is in Utah, you could also report the incident anonymously using the

Hambone

Jun 27, 11:25am

I would worry that the bullies are smart enough to figure out who ratted on them

BYU Fan

Jun 27, 11:29am

If the Safe UT is done anonymously, they will never know who filed it...However,

Don_Juan_El_Guapo

Jun 27, 11:32am

I'm sorry but I was the football coach who responded "boys will be boys"

BYU Fan

Jun 27, 11:38am

I didn't say Title IX..I said SafteUT app....WAY different...however, since the

Don_Juan_El_Guapo

Jun 27, 11:43am

My bad, I'm not familiar with the differences but I still wouldn't rock the boat

BYU Fan

Jun 27, 11:45am

Going the Title IX route would escalate the situation, most likely, to the

Don_Juan_El_Guapo

Jun 27, 11:53am

There's no way they only targeted less than five of the underclassmen

slatecoug

Jun 27, 5:19pm

RE: I would worry that the bullies are smart enough to figure out who ratted on

Sid Vicious

Jun 27, 12:10pm

This is a hard thing to do but if you think of the alternative it sometimes help

Bin01015

Jun 27, 11:40am

That does suck and can be a reality

Carnac

Jun 27, 11:40am

This is why we are losing our rights in today's society. No one will stand

Blue for Life

Jun 27, 12:37pm

If you report it, it will be a net positive.

Threw and Through

Jun 27, 2:43pm

Sorry, I meant to reply to the OP. I agree with your position, obviously.

Threw and Through

Jun 27, 2:46pm

Disagree with this take. I know someone close who holds a lot of

cougarim

Jun 27, 12:52pm

If/when there is retaliation against a good faith report… should be 0 tolerance.

BYU'01

Jun 27, 3:25pm

I’d be a lot more worried about repeat offenses

stoils

Jun 27, 4:12pm

They are doing this to multiple victims. It needs to be stopped.

ochobeeguy

Jun 28, 9:18am

I'm sorry for your nephew & that this garbage continues

BYU Fan

Jun 27, 11:09am

First, that is on the coach. Second, many schools do varsity only camps to

Chester Copperpot

Jun 27, 11:10am

Agree with the other posters. Has to be stopped. How rough for your nephew. I

RocketCoug

Jun 27, 11:13am

Call Principal and report. It will be followed up on.

DrinkSuin

Jun 27, 11:15am

“I guess he wasn’t meant to play football” - his coach probably

maxpowers

Jun 27, 11:19am

Coach wasn't meant to coach HS football--the law probably

Carnac

Jun 27, 11:38am

You or your sister need to report. You can BM with the information and I will

kansascougar

Jun 27, 11:20am

That absolutely needs to be reported. That is sexual harassment/battery.

YSMACK

Jun 27, 11:23am

Call the police and report it as a sexual assualt. This shouldn't be tolerated.

bald man

Jun 27, 11:26am

Reality is that if he did call the police, then camp is over for his team and if

Chester Copperpot

Jun 27, 11:32am

It will help a lot of other kids in the future though.

YSMACK

Jun 27, 11:34am

It's unfortunate, but these aren't 10 year-old kids. They are borderline adults

Belboz

Jun 27, 11:37am

I agree. But are they willing to make this kid's life worse to help others?

Chester Copperpot

Jun 27, 11:39am

That is a fair consideration.

YSMACK

Jun 27, 11:39am

This is the issue for me - I'm not sacrificing my kid to help some other kids

BYU Fan

Jun 27, 11:42am

You're already sacrificing your kid by the approach you advocate.

rmsenior

Jun 27, 12:37pm

The word for this is "cowardice."

shimmy

Jun 27, 1:17pm

I appreciate the different opinions and thoughts

BYU Fan

Jun 27, 1:26pm

Think of other kids who might be getting much much worse treatment. Why wouldn’t you try to stop sexual abuse?

Yllage Vidiot

Jun 27, 6:23pm

The nephew will be hurt by staying on the team, because bullies won't stop

NYC and Japan

Jun 27, 2:51pm

All because nobody said anything the previous times they did this too.

ochobeeguy

Jun 28, 9:16am

That is a myopic view. Let’s help my kid through this by being quiet?

Bin01015

Jun 27, 11:46am

Is my child helped more by reporting the bullies?

BYU Fan

Jun 27, 11:58am

This is based on lack of trust in the process. As for me, I can’t stand aside

Bin01015

Jun 27, 12:16pm

Why would the bullying stop by not reporting? It won't. Not reporting allows

NYC and Japan

Jun 27, 2:54pm

I got the impression he was quitting football due to the incident

BYU Fan

Jun 27, 3:09pm

Talk to the kid. Work out how to proceed together

NYC and Japan

Jun 27, 8:29pm

Sorry but that is a poor take. Yes it sucks sometimes to do the right

bald man

Jun 27, 11:40am

By calling the police? If it was my son I'd already be at the camp and have a

Chester Copperpot

Jun 27, 11:48am

They will know who reported. or at least it won't be hard to find out. but

bald man

Jun 27, 12:05pm

Also, this kid probably isn't the only one. I'd contact other parents with kids

Chester Copperpot

Jun 27, 11:50am

If this behavior is happening, then camp should end for all

CoolB

Jun 27, 1:49pm

So sorry for this awful experience.

DizzyDean

Jun 27, 2:23pm

Are you speaking from experience or conjecture?

Boring

Jun 27, 4:21pm

It may be because I’m a mandatory reporter (as a licensed pediatrician) but I would consider someone who didn’t report

Yllage Vidiot

Jun 27, 6:45pm

It's bad for your nephew, but he's not the only whose safety is at risk

Belboz

Jun 27, 11:35am

If true, coach about to get fired

Carnac

Jun 27, 11:38am

And a potentially big payday for your nephew.

Q-grr

Jun 27, 3:30pm

As a HS Principal, PLEASE CALL THE PRINCIPAL! This is not ok!

Tweege

Jun 27, 11:41am

I agree I am also a high school principal. The principal needs to know.

brickwall

Jun 27, 7:19pm

I'm happy to invite the coach over to see if he can do the Impossible Sit-Up.

HBCoug

Jun 27, 11:45am

Coach would be fired and program shut down in our area if that was swept under

IGlowInTheDark

Jun 27, 11:48am

This happened in the high school where my FIL lives and they fired the coach

AZ Coug

Jun 27, 11:53am

Former football coach here: take that directly to district leadership.

Adwight

Jun 27, 11:58am

In addition to reporting it, document names of others this was happening to as well as those perpetrating it.

BW84

Jun 27, 11:59am

Dang, we just had to sing the school fight song in front of the team.

XORCoug

Jun 27, 12:03pm

Report it today. Raise hell. Sue if they don't take decisive action.

Still Blue

Jun 27, 12:19pm

Report things and communicate by email. There are administrators who absolutely

byubyu

Jun 27, 12:28pm

Yup..document, document, document...I'd add there are A LOT admin who absolutely

Don_Juan_El_Guapo

Jun 27, 12:45pm

There are also a lot who let it slide. Go above their head.

Adwight

Jun 27, 11:15pm

This is why you go above their head straight to district.

Adwight

Jun 27, 5:09pm

I coach HS football. This would NEVER be tolerated here. I feel awful for him.

SJS

Jun 27, 12:37pm

I coach HS football. This event was specifically discussed

Homo Erectus

Jun 27, 12:53pm

Report. Coach should be fired. Boys will be boys is no excuse. Shameful

Doogal McCougar

Jun 27, 12:57pm

You’ve got to report this to the police. Not funny. Not a “boys will be boys”

APowerfulY

Jun 27, 1:00pm

Save any text messages, call logs, and have his sister write out what she can

kd_coug

Jun 27, 1:25pm

Make a stink about it. Make it public. Shame the coach. Make it stop.

TailgateU

Jun 27, 1:28pm

I think some hazing is fine but you can definitely go overboard with it. The sex

bookofdaniel

Jun 27, 1:46pm

The problem is hazing creeps upward. It has to be clearly defined what hazing is

Q-grr

Jun 27, 3:36pm

Example--Utah Jazz

Carnac

Jun 27, 4:27pm

Ok for professionals, but not high school. So many teens are having a hard

TailgateU

Jun 27, 5:09pm

Like I said before, I think a little hazing is fine. I think we are getting

bookofdaniel

Jun 27, 10:05pm

What positive benefit does it have over being a good teammate and building up

Bin01015

Jun 27, 10:14pm

I didn’t say anything about it being better than building someone up. But if a

bookofdaniel

Jun 28, 6:30am

The point of hazing it to belittle or embarrass. It's damaging.

TailgateU

Jun 28, 8:15am

I think teasing is going to happen and maybe that is what you are referencing.

Bin01015

Jun 28, 10:28am

So the experience mentioned above with the Jazz and back packs. Teasing or

bookofdaniel

Jun 28, 12:55pm

Professional athletes are in a very different situation compared to HS students.

TailgateU

Jun 28, 2:18pm

Coach has to follow safesport or some similar program. This is a hard violation and NEEDS to be reported.

AltTabbins

Jun 27, 2:08pm

football camp for my son's team was cancelled this year because of a hazing

lukeskywalker

Jun 27, 2:19pm

would like a follow up for sure please

karatekid

Jun 27, 2:22pm

I am surprised that things like this still happen

cougarBee

Jun 27, 2:25pm

I hope you report. But I also fear the social repercussions for your nephew.

zerome4sooners

Jun 27, 4:52pm

Sadly, could be a lawsuit. Maybe should be! I’m sorry for your nephew!

Bushmaster

Jun 27, 5:03pm

This is absolutely terrible. Fire the coach today.

ImaFBfan

Jun 27, 5:49pm

Call the police now and report it.

Brisket

Jun 27, 6:13pm

If you love kids, you have to report this.

Oatmeal

Jun 27, 6:30pm

I consider it mandatory. If you know this is going on and don’t report it, you are part of the problem.

Yllage Vidiot

Jun 27, 6:46pm

I'm a lawyer and I generally don't love personal injury lawyers, but this is

Christopsomo

Jun 27, 7:59pm

Zero tolerance for the behavior and response.

BringYourUltimate

Jun 27, 8:40pm

The reason this goes on is because no one doesn't think about it. Do something a

CarolinaCoug

Jun 27, 11:32pm

Thank you. I just posted an update. It has been escalate. Appreciate the advice.

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