This is the issue for me - I'm not sacrificing my kid to help some other kids

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Jun 27, 2024
11:42:28am

BYU Fan All-American

This is the issue for me - I'm not sacrificing my kid to help some other kids

It's a noble thing to do but high school is hard enough already and I am just going to be grateful if my boys survive. I'm not going to piss of the bullies and their parents and the coaches (who may be teaching their classes later on).

If I had the means to transfer schools or move then maybe I would consider but otherwise I would just remove my son from the situation.

This message has been modified

Originally posted on Jun 27, 2024 at 11:42:28am

Message modified by BYU Fan on Jun 27, 2024 at 11:43:53am

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BYU Fan

Bio page: BYU Fan
Joined: Mar 7, 2002
Last login: Jun 29, 2024
Total posts: 24,645 (1,086 FO)

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Messages

Author

Time

Feeling a little down about the future of the human race today...

lilpenny

Jun 27, 10:57am

Call the school. That would never fly in my area. I am shocked to hear about stuff like this being phrased as

Baron

Jun 27, 11:03am

"Boys will be boys" refers to rough play, NOT sexual harrassment. Extremely

ninja math

Jun 27, 7:04pm

Not harassment, assault.

ochobeeguy

Jun 28, 9:08am

That's sexual assault. Don't let it slide

unsq312

Jun 27, 11:06am

CALL IMMEDIATELY and REPORT

karatekid

Jun 27, 2:04pm

This

MasterOfMyDomain

Jun 27, 2:18pm

It is assault. If the coach AND school don't give satisfactory responses, police

NYC and Japan

Jun 27, 2:36pm

Call the police first. The school will try to sweep it under the rug. Can’t hurt

GilbertAZCougar

Jun 27, 4:48pm

This needs to be reported immediately.

marticorp

Jun 27, 11:06am

That needs to be a call to the principal of the school TODAY. If she doesn't

Don_Juan_El_Guapo

Jun 27, 11:06am

Please speak with his parents and encourage them to report this to the admin.

Hambone

Jun 27, 11:08am

If it turns into a title IX complaint, then the final report will have all

Don_Juan_El_Guapo

Jun 27, 11:13am

I'd use the words "unwanted sexual contact"

El Jefe

Jun 27, 11:13am

I would use the words "Utah Criminal Code 79-7-702.1(1)."

YSMACK

Jun 27, 11:31am

I'm afraid reporting the abuse would just make things worse for the victim

BYU Fan

Jun 27, 11:19am

If this is in Utah, you could also report the incident anonymously using the

Hambone

Jun 27, 11:25am

I would worry that the bullies are smart enough to figure out who ratted on them

BYU Fan

Jun 27, 11:29am

If the Safe UT is done anonymously, they will never know who filed it...However,

Don_Juan_El_Guapo

Jun 27, 11:32am

I'm sorry but I was the football coach who responded "boys will be boys"

BYU Fan

Jun 27, 11:38am

I didn't say Title IX..I said SafteUT app....WAY different...however, since the

Don_Juan_El_Guapo

Jun 27, 11:43am

My bad, I'm not familiar with the differences but I still wouldn't rock the boat

BYU Fan

Jun 27, 11:45am

Going the Title IX route would escalate the situation, most likely, to the

Don_Juan_El_Guapo

Jun 27, 11:53am

There's no way they only targeted less than five of the underclassmen

slatecoug

Jun 27, 5:19pm

RE: I would worry that the bullies are smart enough to figure out who ratted on

Sid Vicious

Jun 27, 12:10pm

This is a hard thing to do but if you think of the alternative it sometimes help

Bin01015

Jun 27, 11:40am

That does suck and can be a reality

Carnac

Jun 27, 11:40am

This is why we are losing our rights in today's society. No one will stand

Jun 27, 12:37pm

If you report it, it will be a net positive.

Threw and Through

Jun 27, 2:43pm

Sorry, I meant to reply to the OP. I agree with your position, obviously.

Threw and Through

Jun 27, 2:46pm

Disagree with this take. I know someone close who holds a lot of

cougarim

Jun 27, 12:52pm

If/when there is retaliation against a good faith report… should be 0 tolerance.

BYU'01

Jun 27, 3:25pm

I’d be a lot more worried about repeat offenses

stoils

Jun 27, 4:12pm

They are doing this to multiple victims. It needs to be stopped.

ochobeeguy

Jun 28, 9:18am

I'm sorry for your nephew & that this garbage continues

BYU Fan

Jun 27, 11:09am

First, that is on the coach. Second, many schools do varsity only camps to

Chester Copperpot

Jun 27, 11:10am

Agree with the other posters. Has to be stopped. How rough for your nephew. I

RocketCoug

Jun 27, 11:13am

Call Principal and report. It will be followed up on.

DrinkSuin

Jun 27, 11:15am

“I guess he wasn’t meant to play football” - his coach probably

maxpowers

Jun 27, 11:19am

Coach wasn't meant to coach HS football--the law probably

Carnac

Jun 27, 11:38am

You or your sister need to report. You can BM with the information and I will

kansascougar

Jun 27, 11:20am

That absolutely needs to be reported. That is sexual harassment/battery.

YSMACK

Jun 27, 11:23am

Call the police and report it as a sexual assualt. This shouldn't be tolerated.

bald man

Jun 27, 11:26am

Reality is that if he did call the police, then camp is over for his team and if

Chester Copperpot

Jun 27, 11:32am

It will help a lot of other kids in the future though.

YSMACK

Jun 27, 11:34am

It's unfortunate, but these aren't 10 year-old kids. They are borderline adults

Belboz

Jun 27, 11:37am

I agree. But are they willing to make this kid's life worse to help others?

Chester Copperpot

Jun 27, 11:39am

That is a fair consideration.

YSMACK

Jun 27, 11:39am

This is the issue for me - I'm not sacrificing my kid to help some other kids

BYU Fan

Jun 27, 11:42am

You're already sacrificing your kid by the approach you advocate.

rmsenior

Jun 27, 12:37pm

The word for this is "cowardice."

shimmy

Jun 27, 1:17pm

I appreciate the different opinions and thoughts

BYU Fan

Jun 27, 1:26pm

Think of other kids who might be getting much much worse treatment. Why wouldn’t you try to stop sexual abuse?

Jun 27, 6:23pm

The nephew will be hurt by staying on the team, because bullies won't stop

NYC and Japan

Jun 27, 2:51pm

All because nobody said anything the previous times they did this too.

ochobeeguy

Jun 28, 9:16am

That is a myopic view. Let’s help my kid through this by being quiet?

Bin01015

Jun 27, 11:46am

Is my child helped more by reporting the bullies?

BYU Fan

Jun 27, 11:58am

This is based on lack of trust in the process. As for me, I can’t stand aside

Bin01015

Jun 27, 12:16pm

Why would the bullying stop by not reporting? It won't. Not reporting allows

NYC and Japan

Jun 27, 2:54pm

I got the impression he was quitting football due to the incident

BYU Fan

Jun 27, 3:09pm

Talk to the kid. Work out how to proceed together

NYC and Japan

Jun 27, 8:29pm

Sorry but that is a poor take. Yes it sucks sometimes to do the right

bald man

Jun 27, 11:40am

By calling the police? If it was my son I'd already be at the camp and have a

Chester Copperpot

Jun 27, 11:48am

They will know who reported. or at least it won't be hard to find out. but

bald man

Jun 27, 12:05pm

Also, this kid probably isn't the only one. I'd contact other parents with kids

Chester Copperpot

Jun 27, 11:50am

If this behavior is happening, then camp should end for all

CoolB

Jun 27, 1:49pm

So sorry for this awful experience.

DizzyDean

Jun 27, 2:23pm

Are you speaking from experience or conjecture?

Boring

Jun 27, 4:21pm

It may be because I’m a mandatory reporter (as a licensed pediatrician) but I would consider someone who didn’t report

Jun 27, 6:45pm

It's bad for your nephew, but he's not the only whose safety is at risk

Belboz

Jun 27, 11:35am

If true, coach about to get fired

Carnac

Jun 27, 11:38am

And a potentially big payday for your nephew.

Q-grr

Jun 27, 3:30pm

As a HS Principal, PLEASE CALL THE PRINCIPAL! This is not ok!

Tweege

Jun 27, 11:41am

I agree I am also a high school principal. The principal needs to know.

brickwall

Jun 27, 7:19pm

I'm happy to invite the coach over to see if he can do the Impossible Sit-Up.

HBCoug

Jun 27, 11:45am

Coach would be fired and program shut down in our area if that was swept under

Jun 27, 11:48am

This happened in the high school where my FIL lives and they fired the coach

AZ Coug

Jun 27, 11:53am

Former football coach here: take that directly to district leadership.

Adwight

Jun 27, 11:58am

In addition to reporting it, document names of others this was happening to as well as those perpetrating it.

BW84

Jun 27, 11:59am

Dang, we just had to sing the school fight song in front of the team.

XORCoug

Jun 27, 12:03pm

Report it today. Raise hell. Sue if they don't take decisive action.

Still Blue

Jun 27, 12:19pm

Report things and communicate by email. There are administrators who absolutely

byubyu

Jun 27, 12:28pm

Yup..document, document, document...I'd add there are A LOT admin who absolutely

Don_Juan_El_Guapo

Jun 27, 12:45pm

There are also a lot who let it slide. Go above their head.

Adwight

Jun 27, 11:15pm

This is why you go above their head straight to district.

Adwight

Jun 27, 5:09pm

I coach HS football. This would NEVER be tolerated here. I feel awful for him.

SJS

Jun 27, 12:37pm

I coach HS football. This event was specifically discussed

Jun 27, 12:53pm

Report. Coach should be fired. Boys will be boys is no excuse. Shameful

Doogal McCougar

Jun 27, 12:57pm

You’ve got to report this to the police. Not funny. Not a “boys will be boys”

APowerfulY

Jun 27, 1:00pm

Save any text messages, call logs, and have his sister write out what she can

kd_coug

Jun 27, 1:25pm

Make a stink about it. Make it public. Shame the coach. Make it stop.

TailgateU

Jun 27, 1:28pm

I think some hazing is fine but you can definitely go overboard with it. The sex

bookofdaniel

Jun 27, 1:46pm

The problem is hazing creeps upward. It has to be clearly defined what hazing is

Q-grr

Jun 27, 3:36pm

Example--Utah Jazz

Carnac

Jun 27, 4:27pm

Ok for professionals, but not high school. So many teens are having a hard

TailgateU

Jun 27, 5:09pm

Like I said before, I think a little hazing is fine. I think we are getting

bookofdaniel

Jun 27, 10:05pm

What positive benefit does it have over being a good teammate and building up

Bin01015

Jun 27, 10:14pm

I didn’t say anything about it being better than building someone up. But if a

bookofdaniel

Jun 28, 6:30am

The point of hazing it to belittle or embarrass. It's damaging.

TailgateU

Jun 28, 8:15am

I think teasing is going to happen and maybe that is what you are referencing.

Bin01015

Jun 28, 10:28am

So the experience mentioned above with the Jazz and back packs. Teasing or

bookofdaniel

Jun 28, 12:55pm

Professional athletes are in a very different situation compared to HS students.

TailgateU

Jun 28, 2:18pm

Coach has to follow safesport or some similar program. This is a hard violation and NEEDS to be reported.

AltTabbins

Jun 27, 2:08pm

football camp for my son's team was cancelled this year because of a hazing

lukeskywalker

Jun 27, 2:19pm

would like a follow up for sure please

karatekid

Jun 27, 2:22pm

I am surprised that things like this still happen

cougarBee

Jun 27, 2:25pm

I hope you report. But I also fear the social repercussions for your nephew.

Jun 27, 4:52pm

Sadly, could be a lawsuit. Maybe should be! I’m sorry for your nephew!

Bushmaster

Jun 27, 5:03pm

This is absolutely terrible. Fire the coach today.

ImaFBfan

Jun 27, 5:49pm

Call the police now and report it.

Brisket

Jun 27, 6:13pm

If you love kids, you have to report this.

Oatmeal

Jun 27, 6:30pm

I consider it mandatory. If you know this is going on and don’t report it, you are part of the problem.

Jun 27, 6:46pm

I'm a lawyer and I generally don't love personal injury lawyers, but this is

Christopsomo

Jun 27, 7:59pm

Zero tolerance for the behavior and response.

BringYourUltimate

Jun 27, 8:40pm

The reason this goes on is because no one doesn't think about it. Do something a

Jun 27, 11:32pm

Thank you. I just posted an update. It has been escalate. Appreciate the advice.

lilpenny

Jun 28, 9:02am

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