RE: I'm not aware of too many kids who grow up and want to spend more time

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Mar 15, 2018
8:15:24am

Byron McNertney All-American

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Byron McNertney

Previous username: sonofchet
Bio page: Byron McNertney
Joined: Nov 24, 2006
Last login: Mar 26, 2025
Total posts: 58,446 (14,544 FO)

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Messages

Author

Time

POLL: An able-bodied man is 27 years old. Married. Wife stays home with their 1 year old. How many hours/week should he be working?

HarlemCoug Playmaker

3/14/18 7:00pm

The real answer is as long as it takes to adequately provide for his family.

SlantRoute

3/14/18 7:02pm

what if he can provide for his family by working 40 hours/week, but if he works 60 hours he could be saving for their

HarlemCoug

3/14/18 7:04pm

“Adequately provide” is all encompassing.

SlantRoute

3/14/18 7:05pm

I've seen people do each option and be great. I've seen workaholics lose their

Ulysses14

3/14/18 7:06pm

Which is why I like my answer.

SlantRoute

3/14/18 7:08pm

Its up to the couple. Mrs. Crack and I have both had periods of time when we

crack

3/14/18 7:08pm

My wife would be get depressed if I worked more than 50 hrs for too long

Noni Fruit

3/14/18 7:12pm

fools errand. can't get that time back

Mayor of Cougartown

3/14/18 11:40pm

it's a time investment. certainly not a fool's errand. it's exactly the opposite and my entire point. by spending more

HarlemCoug

3/15/18 2:20am

I'm not aware of too many kids who grow up and want to spend more time w/their

Non-donor troll

3/15/18 5:01am

Especially if they didn't have the time early on to grow a relationship with

supertux

3/15/18 6:00am

Especially if they're similarly spending all their time working

Gustav

3/15/18 7:52am

RE: I'm not aware of too many kids who grow up and want to spend more time

Byron McNertney

3/15/18 8:15am

I'm not proposing that you work this hard for 20 years. I did it until my oldest was 10 years old and my youngest was

HarlemCoug

3/15/18 8:48am

Here ya go-

messi

3/15/18 9:44am

Assuming you live that long...

russkiejedi

3/15/18 7:42am

Young kids need their father around. Lots of research on it.

spugeddy24

3/15/18 8:18am

working more hours need not mean you spend any less time with your kids. Perhaps for some it simply means they

HarlemCoug

3/15/18 8:54am

Paternal involvement needs to be early on. Spending more time at work before they are born can be good.

spugeddy24

3/15/18 9:22am

Serious question. Where do these magical extra hours come from?

dtownCoug

3/17/18 9:13am

I don't think it's as linear as you think it is. but agree to disagree

Mayor of Cougartown

3/15/18 9:56am

Why don't you just tell us the answer (which, I'll guess, is how many hours you

russkiejedi

3/15/18 7:38am

it will be very different for everyone. I was curious of how many most think is reasonable. It really is a personal

HarlemCoug

3/15/18 8:56am

<< Deleted >>

Buffalo

3/15/18 8:38am

that's not what I'm suggesting. My kids were 10 to 1 when I slowed down. What I'm saying is that spending even 5 or 6

HarlemCoug

3/15/18 8:58am

*potentially could have in some cases

Epileptic Beagle

3/15/18 9:33am

ding ding ding

supertux

3/15/18 9:35am

agreed -

HarlemCoug

3/15/18 10:11am

This I can agree with. I’m trying to figure out how to slow down now, 10+ yrs in

dtownCoug

3/17/18 6:32pm

What if his daughter is diagnosed with cancer and then passes away after an

El Pasco

3/16/18 9:19am

Depends on the job and salary

El Paso Coug

3/14/18 7:03pm

None of my business

YardTime

3/14/18 7:09pm

If they’re in your ward, then it is.

Texas Hammer

3/14/18 7:16pm

Does this 27 year old have a trust fund that he draws from?

monkeycowboy

3/14/18 7:23pm

If your focus is on time you’re doing it wrong.

nashty

3/14/18 7:28pm

why - isn't the best practice to figure out between you and your wife how many hours are reasonable (and get you the

HarlemCoug

3/14/18 7:32pm

I’m pretty sure if you asked most did it the other way around

nashty

3/14/18 7:35pm

what's wrong with 80 hour work weeks? The Prophet did it and he had tons of kids at home.

HarlemCoug

3/14/18 7:41pm

Regardless of what the prophet did, it should be a choice for couples to make

crack

3/14/18 7:47pm

agreed, that's why I thought it was unusual to say that if you're working 80 hours you "obviously" need to adjust things

HarlemCoug

3/14/18 7:47pm

Sorry. Should have used “probably”. Some couples can do that. Most can’t survive

nashty

3/15/18 9:11am

agreed - very few can survive that and even fewer of those should even try it.

HarlemCoug

3/15/18 9:16am

But you did, Harlem. Congrats!!!

ebv

3/16/18 10:36am

I know when I worked in the Fortune 100 world, that all the Managers and up put

Nat Gas Man

3/14/18 7:35pm

I’m with you. Nashty has if backwards

SlantRoute

3/14/18 9:01pm

Your own response lay above is money first. Then work the time it takes to get

nashty

3/14/18 9:18pm

Oddly enough, I didn't see "depends on what you and your wife determine is

russkiejedi

3/15/18 7:44am

Salaried or hourly? What type of goals do they have?

TheLoneCougar

3/14/18 7:52pm

Whichever allows the man to maximize his time with his wife and children because

Zach Morris

3/14/18 9:17pm

that's not our mandate. our doctrine is not to spend as much time as possible with our family. it's family first, but

HarlemCoug

3/14/18 9:36pm

I'm not understanding your point. Does it piss you off that people work

crazY

3/14/18 10:03pm

I used to work a lot, but now I don't. Working long hours has given me immense freedom. My hope would be that more

HarlemCoug

3/14/18 10:58pm

PS.... it's this "1 + 1 = 3" of working more when you're young that I wish more people understood.

HarlemCoug

3/14/18 11:13pm

The other thing that's silly about this "thought exercise" is that not all jobs

supertux

3/15/18 6:02am

This is very true

VenetianCougar

3/15/18 8:09am

Amen. I pride myself on my relationship with my wife and my daughter

RdF3

3/14/18 9:50pm

We put in super long hours when we were first married and saved/invested heavily

crack

3/14/18 10:21pm

That's not what he was saying at all. You totally missed the mark.

crazY

3/14/18 10:26pm

Probably. I might have responded in the wrong place.

crack

3/14/18 10:40pm

Ok - I will try responding a different way. I believe (though not 100% certain)

crack

3/15/18 7:48am

That's a fine principle, and makes sense. And I see what you're getting at.

russkiejedi

3/15/18 7:53am

Oh ok. I see what you are saying. Working long hours for the sole purpose of

crack

3/15/18 8:22am

Well, even if it's for something. Depends on what that something is. Grinding in

russkiejedi

3/15/18 9:05am

<< Deleted >>

Zach Morris

3/15/18 8:33am

that is what I'm saying - invest your time when you're young and it will have a multiplier effect and benefit

HarlemCoug

3/15/18 9:01am

And I think that's a fine strategy IFF you're all in it together as a family.

russkiejedi

3/15/18 9:20am

agreed - one problem with internet posting is that if you take the time to discuss every aspect of how you feel about an

HarlemCoug

3/15/18 11:37am

Does it include church calling?

whiteninja

3/15/18 5:23am

His happiness probably isn’t dependent solely on his income.

Epileptic Beagle

3/15/18 7:18am

And when you look back on your life . . .

bluebooks

3/15/18 7:26am

Your hypothetical describes my family situation almost exactly.

ldssdl

3/15/18 8:28am

exactly - the extra minutes you spend now could lead to hours more time spent with your kids.

HarlemCoug

3/15/18 9:03am

I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that many, like me, have no idea what

supertux

3/15/18 9:13am

Do you think it was wrong for Pres Nelson to spend so many hours away from his family? He has 10 kids and was

HarlemCoug

3/15/18 9:25am

Yes and I think that GBH was wrong as well. Anyone who does this is wrong. I'm

supertux

3/15/18 9:27am

I think it's wrong not to recognize the sacrifices that decision entails and

russkiejedi

3/15/18 9:32am

agreed

HarlemCoug

3/15/18 10:12am

I think what you’re missing is that just because you feel that this path

Epileptic Beagle

3/15/18 9:32am

curious why you think I'm saying this is for everyone? I don't believe this is for everyone.

HarlemCoug

3/15/18 10:14am

In this thread you have defended your position against nearly every counter

Epileptic Beagle

3/15/18 10:29am

sorry if I wasn't more clear that I think it's wise that everyone sit down and plan things out with their

HarlemCoug

3/15/18 11:48am

I still don’t think you’ve clarified why working more than 40 hours a week is so

Capricious Cougar

3/15/18 10:08am

I think the example of a doctor is worth considering. Early in their career they make huge sacrifices of time

HarlemCoug

3/15/18 10:30am

Makes sense—varies a lot by career path.

Capricious Cougar

3/15/18 12:19pm

You sacrifice so you don’t suck at your job and hurt people.

IGlowInTheDark

3/15/18 5:27pm

Are you a doctor?

Capricious Cougar

3/15/18 5:46pm

This statement works in one AND ONLY ONE career category: entrepreneur

Six Foot Seven

3/16/18 11:54am

Less than me, I’m pretty sure.

SouthernCoug

3/16/18 4:18am

I think there are going to be A LOT of people who wished they'd worked more. The lead article on CNBC right now says 65%

HarlemCoug

3/16/18 7:35am

A study was done decades ago where people were asked how much they make...

SouthernCoug

3/16/18 7:50am

When I look back on my career, I can’t imagine wishing I had worked more.

Epileptic Beagle

3/16/18 7:59am

I think the only ones who will wish they spent more time at work will be the ones who don't have enough money. Here's

HarlemCoug

3/16/18 8:25am

40 hours a week should be plenty for most people. In fact the quality of life and emotional

Zach Morris

3/16/18 8:46am

Agreed - 40 hours/week is enough for most people.

HarlemCoug

3/16/18 10:06am

If money is your only measurement of happiness. I spend a lot of time at work myself, but this week I spent Spring

Texas Hammer

3/16/18 11:17am

I'm glad you've had a great week and wish you the best of luck in improving your relationship with your daughter. Work

HarlemCoug

3/16/18 11:32am

That chart doesn’t have any information about income or output from those hours.

Capricious Cougar

3/16/18 2:30pm

You're back at trying to justify your career / time choices again?

ebv

3/16/18 10:34am

I’m at home today snuggling with my one year old after working my 40

LaserCoug

3/16/18 11:21am

Is the wife able to contribute an income?

JOPE

3/17/18 5:55am

Depends on his job.

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