Did I choose to get divorced? No. Did I choose the inordinately high payments the judge saddled me with? No.
Did I grab everything I could to make the payments? Yes. Do I scramble every month for this past decade to survive so that the ex has a cushy life, because the judge said so? Yes.
It's either that and not make payments. It's life, not a complaint, but I really have no choice and will likely die at work making payments for others to enjoy themselves.