You're now a member of a very exclusive club that I wish never existed.
The loss of a child will stay with you forever and at some point you will probably embrace the pain, accept it and perhaps even crave it.
Whether a child dies suddenly from an accident, or is finally released from agonizing pain over a long period of time, there is no "harder/easier" or "worse/better." If you ever feel like talking about it or just need someone to share experiences, send me a BM.