and the only pain he will be feeling is the pain at seeing what you may be putting yourself through now and in the future.
I have no doubt whatsoever that he loves you moreso now where he is, with what he knows and can understand, than ever before. He is with our father and our brother and they will take good care of him for you until you meet again with the father and son embrace of eternity. There will be a day sometime in the future when your mission in life is through where you will look and see him and say "Son is that you?" and he'll answer "Yes" and run into your arms forever and then you shall both weep for joy.
Sorry if that sounds stupid or melodramatic but my heartbreak from afar at what you are experiencing has caused me to reflect on the eternities and all I can say is that he's ok and wants you to be ok too.
God be with you until you both meet again.