but I read your post and say to myself, "this guy believes. At least a lot of it"

Maybe not everything. Maybe has lots of doubts, questions, and yes, even frustrations.

But you stay. You believe there is something unique to the Church such that you play the game. I find that telling. You didn't jump ship into another faith. You didn't determine that you can go inactive and get the same "results."

You find value in this faith and culture such that you keep your family in. You keep yourself in. You "play the game" to get the benefits. I think it would be an interesting discussion about why this Church and its culture produce these benefits that you and I both value--to the point of making it your lifestyle.

I don't know you, don't want to speak for you. I am sure I am making some broad assumptions. But don't lose sight of the fact that there is something special. Either it is divine, or as a people we got REALLY lucky, given how fractious and controversial our past was. Because there aren't many organizations/associations that can replicate what this Church provides.