Coaster. Someday you'll look back at what's happening with more perspective but that's pretty much impossible right now. My only advice is to really prioritize your mental health. Get a therapist on board ASAP if you don't have one already. The physical part of treatment can be tough, but it's largely going to be determined by your body and doctors. The mental part can be just as hard, if not more, and it's what you have the most control of. Good luck, I'll be praying for you.