It's telling that is one of the the only real specifics he mentions. Obviously I don't know a single thing about the overall story of his life and all the leading events, but it's clear from his perspective this is blocking out the sun. Hope he can receive the needed help and overcome, as well as have a relationship with his children. Can't imagine how difficult it would be to find motivation to make it out of such a dark place if you didn't even think they would be there at the end of it.