But... verification from the cops is prob all the OP really needs to put a stop to the flow of funds. He's able to

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Sep 24, 2024
11:38:03am

HarlemCoug Intervention Needed

justify his actions in a way that will be much harder for her to attack.

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HarlemCoug

Previous username: Big12
Bio page: HarlemCoug
Joined: Sep 8, 2014
Last login: Nov 12, 2024
Total posts: 35,636 (4,481 FO)

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Messages

Author

Time

Help, HCBW hates me - what should I do?

zetta

Sep 24, 10:48am

RE: Help, HCBW hates me - what should I do?

IGlowInTheDark

Sep 24, 10:50am

Find reports of the scam online to show her it's a scam.

Archaea

Sep 24, 10:51am

I cannot find reports of this exact same thing

zetta

Sep 24, 10:53am

It follows all of the scam techniques. It's a scam.

Archaea

Sep 24, 11:00am

Preferably from the FBI if you can or other legal sources.

Mister P

Sep 24, 11:00am

The link to reddit shows it's a scam.

Archaea

Sep 24, 11:45am

You kind of buried the lead here. Do you have a terminal illness?

JuicyJam

Sep 24, 10:52am

Stage IV metastatic cancer

zetta

Sep 24, 10:54am

Yikes. So sorry! What a tough situation for you and your family.

runningfoo

Sep 24, 12:40pm

Call the local police station and see if you can talk to someone about scams and

rebelCoug

Sep 24, 10:56am

Local police will be of great assistance in tracking scammers in Vietnam

zetta

Sep 24, 10:58am

He's not saying to do it to find the scammers... you might want to do it so the cops can verify to you/your wife that it

HarlemCoug

Sep 24, 11:12am

PS - while you try to prove it's a scam... have her try to prove it's not. Have her show examples of people who have

HarlemCoug

Sep 24, 11:32am

I'm guessing even the cops wouldn't be able to convince her.

OrsoNero

Sep 24, 11:32am

But... verification from the cops is prob all the OP really needs to put a stop to the flow of funds. He's able to

HarlemCoug

Sep 24, 11:38am

That's a fair point. "Sorry, honey, the police said. . ."

OrsoNero

Sep 24, 11:42am

State AGs and FBI have more information about this sort of thing

Archaea

Sep 24, 11:00am

If only you knew the background of our meeting and the subsequent visit with FBI

zetta

Sep 24, 11:41am

Yikes...I would definitely not keep adding money to that account

volleyjiver

Sep 24, 10:57am

I offered to take her to the bank to discuss and she refused

zetta

Sep 24, 11:01am

Deep down she knows it's a scam...but she's blaming you for it.

volleyjiver

Sep 24, 11:04am

Keep it real: "This is a scam. I don't support it. I understand how you feel."

Plantagenet

Sep 24, 10:58am

Don’t do it. Giving her the money to give to the scammer won’t help your relationship.

Cougar-Duck

Sep 24, 10:58am

I don't believer her at all when she says if she gets the money she won't ask

Y05

Sep 25, 4:53am

Have you looked at possible legitimate alternatives to help her find a way to start making money?

Black Diamond Bay

Sep 24, 11:01am

Any suggestions for a job she can do? I told you her background

zetta

Sep 24, 11:20am

Go to ward employment specialist or a head hunter.

Archaea

Sep 24, 12:50pm

Nurse aides in skilled nursing facilities can make decent money and are in high demand. Where do you live?

Ironhide

Sep 25, 2:15am

Does someone with zero knowledge of medical terminology and no formal education

zetta

Sep 25, 4:22am

At a nursing home, yes. They often do on the job training because there is a huge need and not enough people available

Ironhide

Sep 25, 8:37am

It's only money. Write on paper "if x happens next" she must be done w/ this.

quantum valeat

Sep 24, 11:01am

And see a marriage counselor.

quantum valeat

Sep 24, 11:04am

She needs to hear it from someone she trusts, besides you. Friend, family member

Pro Logic

Sep 24, 11:01am

She literally only has friend who already helped her, she doesn't want my family

zetta

Sep 24, 11:06am

She will learn the hard way, but don't support it.

Plantagenet

Sep 24, 11:10am

Tell her you need to take care of your son and that you are going to put that

Chester Copperpot

Sep 24, 11:06am

Youre lucky you are only at 6k right now. We have an employee that is falling

md7Coug

Sep 24, 11:08am

Why doesn't he get it? Let him lose all of the money and see if he gets it.

Plantagenet

Sep 24, 11:11am

Unfortunately him losing all his money will negatively impact us. We are lookin

md7Coug

Sep 24, 11:12am

He still won't get it even after that. I've seen it, they'll blame someone else

Chester Copperpot

Sep 24, 11:13am

"Experience is a dear school."

Plantagenet

Sep 24, 1:43pm

So she paid $3,000 and made $140. Does she not understand basic math?

WJCougar

Sep 24, 11:09am

The scammers are very good at deceiving people who are vulnerable

zetta

Sep 24, 11:24am

I assume this is TIC.......

gopman

Sep 24, 11:10am

Not funny if it is.

SBB

Sep 24, 11:26am

Doesn't read like TIC to me.

OrsoNero

Sep 24, 11:29am

Trolling.

gopman

Sep 24, 11:30am

Least attention-seeking troll ever. OP has 27 posts in 14 years.

OrsoNero

Sep 24, 11:35am

If true this is a much bigger issue of "frame". Not a comfortable

gopman

Sep 24, 11:40am

It's not comfortable, but CB is very helpful in this sort of situation.

OrsoNero

Sep 24, 11:48am

Being able to set boundaries is important in any relationship.

gopman

Sep 24, 12:15pm

Very very uncomfortable

zetta

Sep 24, 12:15pm

No way

STL

Sep 24, 11:35am

Assuming it were not a scam, why can't she earn out her investment first?

OrsoNero

Sep 24, 11:28am

That is her compromise to me but we have to send $5,000 more to get added tasks

zetta

Sep 24, 11:43am

Why would any legitimate job require YOU the employee/contractor spend money

Archaea

Sep 24, 11:45am

exactly

zetta

Sep 24, 12:39pm

Some scammers play it very well. The point is to get as much money flowing

Plantagenet

Sep 24, 1:49pm

Bring in the cops. Make her meet w them w you.

YSMACK

Sep 24, 11:36am

Some people need to learn the hard way.

materialized

Sep 24, 11:40am

Here's a Reddit post discussing the scam. Not sure that will be enough though

CosmosMeow

Sep 24, 11:40am

This is what I saw and tried to convince her with

zetta

Sep 24, 11:46am

If that's the case, I don't see any way to convince her.

OrsoNero

Sep 24, 11:47am

It's not about convincing her. It's about setting & enforcing boundaries.

gopman

Sep 24, 12:31pm

Frame.

gopman

Sep 24, 11:41am

This is super sticky. Simple answer, Id keep trying to convince her. If it doesn't work, I wouldn't give her the money.

TRUE_BLUE_COUGY

Sep 24, 11:52am

This^^^ No way do I fund more and I'd pull out any & all money there might still be in the account then close it.

Soupie

Sep 24, 1:30pm

Let her be angry because she may need the money once you're gone.

Archaea

Sep 24, 1:32pm

Yes. Explicity tell her this.

Plantagenet

Sep 24, 1:51pm

This isn’t meant to sound mean, but suggest that she DoorDash/Uber Eats for

Ikuna

Sep 24, 12:14pm

Driving is not a strength - she only got her license about a year ago

zetta

Sep 24, 12:49pm

The strain of knowing she will lose you and being responsible for the child must

scrambled egg

Sep 24, 12:18pm

I have learned from personal experience in these situations things will be all

Plantagenet

Sep 24, 1:54pm

Apologies for prying, but how long have you been married? Wasn't there

Emmett Fitz-Hume

Sep 24, 12:29pm

Married for 3.5 years, met online about 6 years ago, both alone with no friends

zetta

Sep 24, 12:45pm

Are you active at church?

Black Diamond Bay

Sep 24, 1:32pm

The Church has very good resources to help her develop self-reliance based on

Plantagenet

Sep 24, 1:56pm

On my way home from infusion treatment - feeling numb from head to toe

zetta

Sep 24, 1:49pm

Don't do it. Been there with the serious cancer at a younger age. She'll need the $$ & be even more mad

Soupie

Sep 24, 1:52pm

You should never knowingly get scammed

Blue Cougar

Sep 24, 1:49pm

Are you in Utah? Maybe CB can help with leads for jobs...

homegrown

Sep 24, 2:17pm

Based on his posting history, he is in Spring, Texas.

RootieBoy

Sep 24, 2:24pm

<< Deleted >>

DKN

Sep 24, 3:46pm

Check out Amazon Mechanical Turk a legit way for her to do some work at home, and maybe she will forget the scam one.

Mobojo

Sep 25, 12:50am

You can't control your wife. Set boundaries. If she chooses a bad marriage that

maYbe

Sep 25, 6:54am

How did y’all meet?

Cheesy Gordita

Sep 25, 12:51pm

Online.

Y05

Sep 25, 12:58pm

This is both your monies. Would she support putting your money on red? My

hitechcpa

Sep 25, 2:47pm

Have her do an online cybersecurity certification course. You can Google

BringYourUltimate

Sep 25, 8:14pm

Still thinking about your post when I came across this YouTube video about scams

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