One thing that finally helped recently was being diagnosed with something that had gone unnoticed my whole life. Turns out I don’t just have regular depression. A simple medication has done wonders for me. I still get depressed and even have suicidal thoughts, but it’s not nearly as bad.
So that’s the only advice I can offer. Therapy and medication can help a lot.

Other than that, just know you aren’t alone. I don’t know why life has to be so hard. Just one day at a time. My thoughts and prayers are with you.