I was literally guilted for taking 4 days when my twins were born.

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Nov 14, 2024
7:56:38am

VinnyBYU 3rd String

We had no help.

No family around.

Wife was in a dark place.

Just a different time.

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VinnyBYU

Bio page: VinnyBYU
Joined: Nov 27, 2023
Last login: Nov 22, 2024
Total posts: 1,839 (135 FO)

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Messages

Author

Time

So insane- I’ve got a member of my team who will be off 12 paid weeks for birth

SBB

Nov 14, 7:39am

Remember us thinking it was crazy generous when husband got 2 weeks off for our kids.

Soupie

Nov 14, 7:41am

I never had more than 1 or 2. Today, I’d trade half my 401k to have been able to

snowbird

Nov 14, 7:57am

Never got a single paid day off for the births of my three kids. Jelly.

PGVikingDad

Nov 14, 7:42am

Same.

Swag Kazekage

Nov 14, 7:44am

I got a the day off because I had an awesome boss for the first two.

SBB

Nov 14, 7:46am

Overly generous?

chrisoc13

Nov 14, 12:22pm

Last I checked you get paid to do a job- I was grateful. He didn’t have to

SBB

Nov 14, 2:22pm

Same

Reasonable1

Nov 14, 7:57am

Thats Got me thinking about getting my vasectomy reversed!

pinolero

Nov 14, 7:42am

My son-in-law gets this where he works.

BYUforlife

Nov 14, 7:43am

We allow it to be spilt in half

SBB

Nov 14, 7:44am

I took 3 or 4 days of vacation then went back to work.

Kilgore Trout

Nov 14, 7:45am

Times are changing. I absolutely took my job with their paternity leave in mind.

aplusfan

Nov 14, 7:45am

There’s a happy medium- someone has to pay that benefit and I know you’re

SBB

Nov 14, 7:48am

I’m all for the benefit but maybe not all at once

CasualFan

Nov 14, 7:45am

I took 3 days off for my twins' birth and then went into work on the weekend bc I had a trial on the following Monday

byujag

Nov 14, 7:46am

I was literally guilted for taking 4 days when my twins were born.

VinnyBYU

Nov 14, 7:56am

I took a week off using paid vacation for all of my kids...

WJCougar

Nov 14, 7:46am

My company does 13 weeks for dads. Minimum of a week at a time. I've had 2 people use it this year.

Filiberto

Nov 14, 7:46am

I wouldn’t take it. My personal opinion is that it’s a bad look. I agree with

ChiCityCoug

Nov 14, 7:48am

It’s all vacation for a guy after 2 weeks typically. I’m sure there are exceptio

SBB

Nov 14, 7:50am

It's a bad look to bond with your newborn child?

NGB

Nov 14, 8:02am

Is that what I said? That’s weird I swear I didn’t say that.

ChiCityCoug

Nov 14, 8:26am

If you’re sitting at home wondering what to do with yourself, or feel like

royal_blue

Nov 14, 8:06am

I’m not saying life after a kid is easy and that we as dads shouldn’t help I’m

ChiCityCoug

Nov 14, 8:32am

And if a company or manager is such a dumpster fire that they can’t survive

royal_blue

Nov 14, 8:42am

it depends on the size of the company

rotorhead

Nov 14, 8:45am

This is ridiculous. Give some credit to Mom, Bro. They don’t need three months to get back on their feet. 12 weeks is

SolidBlue

Nov 14, 8:51am

No offense but you seem like someone who has not a clue how to prioritize your

royal_blue

Nov 14, 11:02am

Names his son "captain", lectures others on parenting. lol

NGB

Nov 14, 11:09am

Now doubt his wife is his equal. But rather kind of equal as it was defined

JosephAllenMaldonado

Nov 14, 11:55am

<< Deleted >>

SolidBlue

Nov 14, 2:23pm

Oh, okay… somebody should tell her that. I mean she seems pretty happy with me and all. Even after 7 kids.

SolidBlue

Nov 14, 2:58pm

Tell me you could be replaced in 2 days at your job without telling me.

ChiCityCoug

Nov 14, 8:52am

Tell me your wife could replace you in 2 days without telling me 😂

royal_blue

Nov 14, 11:13am

Haha I hope not!

ChiCityCoug

Nov 14, 11:27am

If you worry that your company might not want you back if you took this leave, it’s not the leave that’s the problem

spinner

Nov 14, 9:16am

I work for a very lean company and therefore duplicative roles are

ChiCityCoug

Nov 14, 9:35am

If a company offers an employee a 12 week leave but then would cut them for actually taking it

spinner

Nov 14, 10:15am

Or just a disconnect between executives pushing a 12 week leave to appear

ChiCityCoug

Nov 14, 10:30am

And I would define that as a problem

spinner

Nov 14, 10:34am

I agree, which is why offering 12 weeks at a company is strange to me, because

ChiCityCoug

Nov 14, 10:39am

I wonder how many of those co-workers and employers will be at your bedside when

Tiburon

Nov 14, 10:18am

Haha yeah yeah yeah, I’ve heard this one before. What this silly hypothetical

ChiCityCoug

Nov 14, 10:33am

My wife and I started early. I was building my own business working 60-80 hrs a week.

SolidBlue

Nov 14, 3:56pm

He said after 2 months, not 2 weeks.

VenomFarmer

Nov 14, 5:07pm

No, he said 2-4 weeks or "by the second month" not after two months.

royal_blue

Nov 14, 5:56pm

Oh man, 12 weeks isn’t enough. It’s often called bonding time and that’s a

Lefty24

Nov 14, 7:08pm

Why are people 👎 this post? Snowbird what’s the issue with what I posted? Does

SBB

Nov 14, 7:57am

We don't really have anyone that can fill in for me. The work just piles up

Ferb

Nov 14, 7:57am

Oh it suck’s- I get punished for it as it affects revenue

SBB

Nov 14, 7:59am

My wife has to deliver our kids by C-section, so the extra time is legit helpful

ldssdl

Nov 14, 7:59am

Same my wife had 4 c sections. I was still working for the most part but was able to work from home.

Nuke

Nov 14, 8:21am

Do they get lots of vacation as well? If not just think of it as an equalizer.

Yiowa

Nov 14, 8:00am

My buddy took his 12 weeks and then found out he got laid off

jaromp

Nov 14, 8:01am

Yeah I know there’s some legal protections on maternity leave and paternity

ChiCityCoug

Nov 14, 8:34am

Sorry you didn’t get time off or take time off. Company loyalty doesn’t

The Pope

Nov 14, 8:04am

My wife gave birth to four of our children while I was in the military

Goliath

Nov 14, 8:04am

My company has 12 weeks paternity and it is one reason I am still there.

TheMaineCougar

Nov 14, 8:07am

I know people who get 16 weeks.

JuicyJam

Nov 14, 8:07am

We get 16 weeks of paternity leave at my company. Unfortunately we are done

Duke Silver

Nov 14, 8:22am

Too bad. Every year you don't have a kid, you're leaving money on the table.

RoboKayne

Nov 14, 2:45pm

It seems some guys think it's either lame to take time off, or admirable to

quantum valeat

Nov 14, 8:18am

Why be bothered, isn’t this just the free market at work?

spinner

Nov 14, 8:31am

Yep, wages have stagnated for decades, this is one small comp for that

Mitty

Nov 14, 11:15am

I left work at 1. Baby was born at 2:30. I took the next day off. Back to work

O Gaucho

Nov 14, 9:23am

1 day off? That’s soft *tic*. This reminds me of a Monty python skit

Reasonable1

Nov 14, 9:30am

StanfordCougar

Nov 14, 9:35am

I worked at a company that was too small. I ended up quitting to have the time

Tiburon

Nov 14, 10:13am

I never had paid time for my kids, but I'm all for it. Happy to see people

Mitty

Nov 14, 11:07am

It was crazy in my old company because the Americans would take a long weekend

RoboKayne

Nov 14, 2:37pm

I got 4 weeks this summer. I did 2 weeks full time and 4 weeks half time. It was

Brute66

Nov 14, 2:39pm

I get 21 weeks, full pay, bonus, and PTO accrual. I’m 10 weeks in with my first

4thand19

Nov 14, 2:44pm

The problem is small companies cannot do that. It would ruin them for emoloyees

Schultz is back

Nov 14, 7:41pm

I feel like all the comments seem correct.

quantum valeat

Nov 14, 4:08pm

The younger generation have dads who are more involved and more present

MaximusMeridius

Nov 14, 10:18pm

Great response- you’re very wise and clearly have your priorities in the

SBB

Nov 15, 12:44am

If you asked Gordon B Hinckley if he wished he spent more time at work or with

MaximusMeridius

Nov 15, 10:55am

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