as for the .45 having better penetration, it simply isn't so. The rason I would never have a 9mm for personal defense in the house is I do not want to shoot the bad guy and have the bullet go through him and hit my wife/child behind him. A .45 will penetrate and stop in a perp and hit him so hard that he won't get up a vast majority oif the time. A 9mm can and most of the time will pass right through a person and continue to hit whatever it is behind it, not transfering enough of the energy to what it hits first to stop it.

From someone who knows guns, take my advise, get yourself a .45 for in house defense for you and a .38 to go in your wife's purse so that she has something that has some stopping power but that she can handle easily, that is small.

I personally carry a .40 for overall protetion.