THE COUGARBOARD 2005 grapevine ESSAY CONTEST

With grapevine's consent, we invite aspiring authors to submit a post in the grapevinian style. Entries will be judged according to (i) fidelity to the grapevine method; (ii) humor and wisdom imparted; and (iii) anything else the judges deem appropriate. One may submit multiple entries if desired, but brevity is encouraged--once the word count hits triple digits the judges may begin to doze. Since free association is an essential element of the grapevine oeuvre, entries may address any subject, although extra credit will be given to Ute rivalry references—it is rivalry week after all. All essays must be consistent with Board (and grapevine's) standards.

Prizes include (i) dinner for two at Tucanos (either Provo or Albuquerque), (ii) "There are only two colors" T-shirts, (iii) an autographed copy of the grapevine classic, "things people wil never buy at a thrift store" (available online here); and (iv) the esteem of your fellow Cougarboarders and the disdain of your spouses and just about anyone else who doesn't frequent the Board.

Entries can be posted to this thread anytime before 11:59 PM on Wednesday, November 16. Multiple entries are permitted, and previous attempts can be resubmitted as part of the contest, unless the entry has previously been awarded a Pulitzer, the Samuel Johnson Prize, or the National Book Critics Circle Award (lesser honors, to be sure).

Winners will be announced around noon on Friday, November 18, or whenever the judges feel like it.

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El Jefe

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