I would let her choose something else for active participation that will allow

Sep 3, 2024
11:08:12am

Plantagenet Intervention Needed

her to succeed and have a good time. Not everyone needs or benefits from the same experiences. Life is too short and there are many options. Have her finish what she has started by completing the season--her team commitment.

This message has been modified

Originally posted on Sep 3, 2024 at 11:08:12am

Message modified by Plantagenet on Sep 3, 2024 at 11:08:42am

Message modified by Plantagenet on Sep 3, 2024 at 11:09:41am

Message modified by Plantagenet on Sep 3, 2024 at 11:10:02am

Message modified by Plantagenet on Sep 3, 2024 at 11:10:51am

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Plantagenet

Previous username: Hoplite
Bio page: Plantagenet
Joined: Sep 5, 2018
Last login: Sep 19, 2024
Total posts: 5,990 (4 FO)

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Messages

Author

Time

I coach youth tackle football and had a parent text me last week upset about their sons playing time. Their son

Nuke All-American

Sep 3, 10:04am

If it's any consolation, every other parent at that game listening to that dad yelling

SJS

Sep 3, 10:05am

The sad thing is that all of the kids can also hear the dad yelling.

Sea Chicken

Sep 3, 10:21am

Yeah that’s ridiculous especially if they’re missing practice.

texbird33

Sep 3, 10:06am

Also, you gave a very clear standard to play more: come to all the practices

SJS

Sep 3, 10:06am

I would kick the kid off. Yes, it hurts him in the short term, but will benefit

byubyu

Sep 3, 10:09am

Stay strong. You're 100% in the right.

gangbusters

Sep 3, 10:10am

it is really frustrating when parents over schedule their kids. It teaches them

BYUheaven

Sep 3, 10:10am

It's a tough balance, because I want my kids to be able to participate in

cougarfan84

Sep 3, 10:45am

We have only had 2 practices with every player there. Two... It makes it very

BYUtka

Sep 3, 10:12am

I loved coaching, working with the kid. Parents...not so much. Always amazed

Parker Schnabel

Sep 3, 10:12am

Coaches are just as bad at times. Many parents have legitimate concerns. Not in

BYUtka

Sep 3, 10:15am

No argument there. Those crazy parents are sometimes coaches too.

Parker Schnabel

Sep 3, 10:18am

Yeah, I’ve had more bad experiences with coaches than bad experiences

stoils

Sep 3, 11:09am

Easy solution. Sign up to coach

texbird33

Sep 3, 2:13pm

Done. Doesn't solve everything, can't coach every team.

BYUtka

Sep 3, 2:18pm

It just bugs me when parents complain yet won’t volunteer their own time to

texbird33

Sep 4, 1:58pm

I couldn't even get a parent to help run the chains at our game last week. 2 days helped right away but I asked 3 who

Nuke

Sep 4, 4:19pm

I make my two HS player sons come to do chains, our HC and some of the other

BYUtka

Sep 4, 8:10pm

WRT playing time, is it justifiable for a parent to ever ask you about it? If so, how should they approach it?

durandal

Sep 3, 10:13am

I'm fine with parents asking about playing time, I would prefer they ask me about it then complain. I find it

Nuke

Sep 3, 10:24am

Thanks. I totally get that would be frustrating.

durandal

Sep 3, 10:31am

As a coach you have to do that. It is poison to a team to let a "talented" kid

BYUtka

Sep 3, 10:40am

I prefer the player/kid ask me first. Ask "what can I do to earn more playing time?".

Cougstreak

Sep 3, 12:38pm

My son has played on lone peak teams and I’ve been pleasantly surprised how

maxpowers

Sep 3, 10:14am

Tell the dad...Your son obviously has other priorities more important than

BlueKarma

Sep 3, 10:15am

Keep on keeping on

coug719

Sep 3, 10:15am

What do you say to your kid if he shows up to practice 15 - 20 minutes early

Beggar

Sep 3, 10:16am

"That's life".

byubyu

Sep 3, 10:20am

I get that but it's frustrating when the coach sets the expectations

Beggar

Sep 3, 10:43am

100% this.

BYUtka

Sep 3, 10:46am

Not just the coach, most leagues have a policy about practice participation and playing time.

SJS

Sep 3, 10:59am

Yep, this burns kids pretty quick. There are lots of ways to get kids playing

morningcalmcougar

Sep 3, 11:43am

The "eye test" is one of the easiest signs of a terrible coach. Bad coaches use

BYUtka

Sep 3, 11:49am

I mean, it's minimum expectation. Extra practice doesn't guarantee you more

fattycoug

Sep 3, 12:37pm

coaches don't care about practice...

EEcougar

Sep 3, 10:28am

What's important is the effort you put into it--not comparing yourself to others

Plantagenet

Sep 3, 11:02am

Sorry, coach’s son plays your same position and the only way he gets playing

Bin01015

Sep 3, 12:37pm

At the start of the season most of my son's coaches handed out a paper with 'Team Expectations' on it..

TheLost

Sep 3, 10:17am

Do you keep a record of attendance for your practices?

BYUtka

Sep 3, 10:18am

I actually do keep track on a spreadsheet.

Nuke

Sep 3, 10:22am

Same. It has been helpful when having play time discussions.

BYUtka

Sep 3, 10:41am

Does your league have a code of conduct policy that all coaches & parents sign?

coug10278

Sep 3, 10:21am

My daughter plays 7th grade rec soccer and the coach plays her very little.

kosmokramer

Sep 3, 10:24am

There is no solution to this. Every single coach has a different philosophy.

777

Sep 3, 10:33am

I am in the same boat. This is the 3rd year I have coached tackle football.

Superman21

Sep 3, 11:18am

Sounds like a great approach. I coach baseball and let's be honest. Only a

777

Sep 3, 11:26am

Back when I coached youth football, that kid sounds like a guy

SJS

Sep 3, 11:28am

This is how I feel about it.

yahtzee

Sep 3, 12:06pm

RE: My daughter plays 7th grade rec soccer and the coach plays her very little.

BYUPick

Sep 3, 10:38am

Go talk to the coach. If you are respectful, I’m guessing you can come to an

Junior Deputy

Sep 3, 10:49am

RE: Go talk to the coach. If you are respectful, I’m guessing you can come

BYUPick

Sep 3, 10:57am

Didn’t realize you’d already talked to him. So now you play the “minimum plays”

Junior Deputy

Sep 3, 11:40am

If there is an 11 play minimum, he should be hitting it at the very least.

Mr Salad

Sep 3, 10:51am

Yep. If he isn't hitting the required play minimum, the coach is in the wrong

cougarfan84

Sep 3, 10:54am

I have an issue when coaches are more worried about winning than they are about

cougarfan84

Sep 3, 10:52am

I don't know about every league, but I know every rec league I have been

cougarfan84

Sep 3, 10:48am

I would let her choose something else for active participation that will allow

Plantagenet

Sep 3, 11:08am

Also frustrating is playing with kids who invest heavily in outside training and

Shawarma

Sep 3, 10:32am

Yeah, Lone Peak baseball is a joke now

stoils

Sep 3, 2:42pm

I agree in principle. I never in a million years would have voluntarily missed

cougfanz

Sep 3, 10:51am

1 Kudos for volunteering. Parents forget the free service their kid is receiving

Forzaitalia

Sep 3, 11:39am

<< Deleted >>

Forzaitalia

Sep 3, 11:44am

The kid plays soccer, and I told the dad I would never punish a kid for playing another sport if they have a game that

Nuke

Sep 3, 11:48am

I used to be a big "practice" coach as well. Then I started to really examine

777

Sep 3, 10:54am

I get that to a degree, I go out of my way to make sure kids have rides to practice if needs be and usually end up

Nuke

Sep 3, 12:42pm

Reminds me of my DIL who was a store supervisor. 19 yr old kid complains he got

Forzaitalia

Sep 3, 11:50am

This is why I said I wouldn’t coach again in youth or HS unless it was at an

coastcat

Sep 3, 11:59am

Actual video of that kids dad

MHallDidNothingWr0ng

Sep 3, 12:35pm

Is there a reason given why the kid is missing practices?

GordonSpieth

Sep 3, 12:54pm

Too many go through life thinking they are above the realities everyone faces.

Accipiter

Sep 3, 1:09pm

Have the dad removed from the game.

Gorum the Old

Sep 3, 1:35pm

What age group is this? Also, practices aren’t that important.

Iman23

Sep 4, 6:12am

6th grade, but even our 1st/2nd grade team practices 3 days a week. Their practices are a lot shorter and are only an

Nuke

Sep 4, 7:58am

Yeah. I was wrong. Good luck with that Dad.

Iman23

Sep 4, 8:06am

I would sit him. It is a safety issue.

Cougstreak

Sep 4, 8:31am

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