They seem to know exactly what needs to be done.

If they're all made co-head coaches, the collective football wisdom would reach critical mass, BYU would win every game infinity to zero, and each of those wins would count as two wins against that opponent, plus a win over Utah, resulting in a 36-0 regular season (assuming a 12-game season in 2014), with 12 wins in a row against Utah. As a result of that 12-game losing streak, the University of Utah would be swallowed up in the earth, covered by a mountain, and sunk into the sea. Twice. Twice infinity. And a half.

BYU would then play against the top 5 SEC teams all at the same time (the first 55-against-11 football game in history), in whatever has paid the most money to be considered the national championship game at the time (like now). BYU would win infinity to minus infinity, with infinity total yards. The infinity-star QB would pass for infinity of infinity completions, and infinity touchdowns. The defense would hold the 55-player SEC squad to minus infinity yards.

The infinitely glorious aura that would emanate from BYU's team would be so transcending and intense that it would usher in the Second Coming.

Later that day, CB would be in a meltdown screaming for the co-head coaches to be fired, since a 36-0 regular season and ending the Battle of Armageddon are just too mediocre. If the team had a decent head coach, each win against another opponent would have counted for TWO wins over Utah.

Has anybody done Vince Lombardi's temple work yet? He could be the new coach for the millennial season.