However, the next time your daughter comes looking for money, that would provide an opening to have a conversation. They have a right to their own financial privacy, but if they come asking for money you have a right to know more about why it's needed.

Financial independence is a process. They are still learning what it means. I wouldn't stress too much about this. But I also wouldn't be quick to volunteer help next time.

I wouldn't worry about the student loans. The loans accumulated at BYU will be a fraction of the eventual med school debt. And it's probably wise to focus on studying. My biggest regret is that I didn't just take out loans at BYU. Instead I worked multiple college jobs to pay my way, when I could have easily paid the loans off in a year or two after getting a real job.