I agree. We had some coaches on staff who were "used" to losing; played in losing programs; coached in losing programs. Then there were newer coaches that were used to winning. The cultural divide was pretty stark.

The "losers" resorted to teaching kids how to take cheap shots, play dirty, etc. They yelled at kids for not doing things that they should (even though they were never coached to know what to do). The coaches had a terrible mindset AND they don't actually believe in themselves either: they believe winning and losing is about the talent level and has NOTHING to do with coaching. They didn't do anything to improve themselves as coaches in the offseason. They had a million reasons for why they lose, all external to themselves, and usually associated with the kids "toughness" or commitment to the team. It was generally about their ego or reliving their "glory" days.

It really turned me off to losing programs in youth sports.

There's a reason that winning programs keep winning, regardless of talent. Based on my n of 1, I won't probably allow my kids to play HS sports if the program isn't respectable. They aren't learning any life lessons, they're losing consistently, and they are generally around poor role models.

I really respect my coaches from high school. They taught life lessons, fostered relationships, had fun, built teamwork, instilled work ethic, AND we won. Some of them were jerks at times but always made a point to remind you that you were a real human being. I think there's a real connection there.