Yesterday we gathered to watch my niece open her mission call. She will be serving in the Canada Winnipeg Mission. Someone attending from Calgary said, “Oh boy, that’s the coldest place on earth.” She may freeze but she’ll be an incredible missionary and her dad will be so proud.

He passed away from brain cancer almost 9 years ago. He left a wife and four children, who were 10,8,6 and 2 at the time. I posted about it on Cougarboard, which you can read here: https://www.cougarboard.com/board/message.html?id=15792494. I was deeply touched by people who read the post and offered prayers and reached out to share encouragement and their memories of my brother. I thought some on here may be curious about his family, so I thought I would share an update.

As people that have lost loved ones know, you never stop missing them. I can’t count the number of times I have thought, ‘I wish Jacob was here’. I can only imagine the aching I feel is amplified exponentially in intensity and frequency for his wife and children. And after all this time, I don’t have any insight as to why this happened. I imagine that answers will come much later.

But there have been countless miracles and instances where God has shown He is aware of us. It often comes through the charity of others. An army of people rallied around his family, offering every type of aid imaginable, from prayers, to house repairs, to encouragement, to thoughtful gifts, to generous donations, to a shoulder to cry on. My brother and sister-in-law were very service-oriented and generous. Everything that they gave came back a hundredfold from good people everywhere.

My sister-in-law faced the unenviable task of raising four fatherless children alone. It has been difficult, but their children are doing well–even thriving.

Jacob bought soccer cleats for his oldest daughter when she was three years old, hoping she would share his love of sports. This fall she made the Women’s Lacrosse Team at BYU as a freshman. She is a demon with a stick in her hands, but is kind, thoughtful and sweet off the field. She graduated high school with a 4.0, will now be serving a mission in May, and has her dad’s wry sense of humor. His second daughter is a tall, talented soccer player and exceptionally determined. She is kind, social, smart and generous. His third daughter recently found a talent for cross-country and is excelling at it. She is understated, but is a powerhouse and will make her mark (for so much good) in the world. His youngest is a boy, who was only 2 when he passed away. He also loves sports and plays as many as he can. He is cheerful and good to his core–and he carries his dad’s name as a middle name very well. And importantly, they are all rabid BYU fans like their dad was. I can’t imagine how he could feel any prouder of them. It’s my belief that my brother’s parental influence, even from the other side, is more than we can imagine.

My sister-in-law is finishing a PhD in Counseling Psychology at BYU. Her experiences with grief, loneliness, heartache, resilience, and healing inspired her to pursue this path. She wrote a children’s book that Deseret Book published about how Jesus helps us with our grief. She is strong and faith-filled and an inspiration to so many. Two and half years ago she remarried. He is a wonderful man. He has embraced everything that a marriage with a widow entails and we love him.

This isn’t a happily ever after story, because we never know what the future may hold, but I can’t help but feel overwhelmed with gratitude for the goodness that has come into this family’s life. It’s hard to describe the pure joy that we all felt as Jacob’s daughter stood, surrounded by people who love her and read about her mission assignment. It represented a milestone on a journey of woe, suffering, grace and beauty. The secret, my sister-in-law would suggest (echoing President Hinckley), is to enjoy the ride.