We tried them all with our oldest as well. Nothing worked. As a physician I’ve “treated” countless kids with this issue also. I put it in quotes because treatment is ruling out very rare physical causes and then reassuring parents that it will go away.

When our oldest was 12 he went from 5+ times/week to never another accident within a week. No idea why. We’d given up on all the alarms years prior. He’s a smart kid and on a mission now.

At the end of the day the synapses between “I have a full bladder” and “I need to get up and go to the bathroom” have to be connected. It can take longer for some and there is a strong genetic component.

As you mentioned more important than anything else is realizing it’s not the child’s fault. Rewarding the good and not making too big of a deal about it are key.

There are medicines that can help for situational events like scout camp or sleepovers but if used regularly will delay the end goal, similar to using pull-ups or even excessive night time restrictions.

Good luck!