... they do not go back to the kitchen and tell the chef that I was being rude. But to avoid having to do that, I have started asking for steak to be cooked medium rather than medium rare. That way if it is under-cooked, great! If it is cooked right, medium is still good.
At a higher end steakhouse it is almost always cooked perfect to order (so it is ok to order medium rare) because they sous-vide it when cooking.