Where a teenager appropriating Native American culture wears a headdress and stands at the front and speaks like an "indian" in a John Wayne film - and he starts out by saying he's searching the audience for a great friend / warrior - then they send a group of other scouts out who then find your casket and wheel it in.

Then he reads a script and talks about how you followed each of the 12 parts of the scout law in your life (generic, of course, and it should be obvious that it's not customized to you by including him reading parts like "he or she embodied thriftiness by carefully considering what things he or she would buy")

And at the end he can drape an OA sash over your casket.

... At the end, if he finds out that you aren't current in your OA lodge dues, he will remove the sash and leave a bill with your next of kin.

In lieu of flowers, you can have people who show up to the funeral be unable to leave the chapel until they give a $20 donation to "friends of scouting"