super frustrating, but it's just the way it is. You can try the underwear alarms to wake them up. They never worked for us, but the concept sounds good.

We just tried to not shame them for wetting the bed, but just teach them that they needed to be responsible for their own messes by loading the washer in the mornings. To simplify they didn't really sleep with sheets ... just the waterproof mattress bed covering and a blanket or two they could easily wash. The pull-ups work until they get too big for them, which is what happened with both of ours, at which point, they just had to wash blankets every day. They grow out of it by about age 12, when they start doing youth camping trips anyway, so it worked out.