I’d give yourself some credit. If it doesn’t seem appealing to you in the gospel, it’s likely not the without it unless your environment and personality were so contrary to who you are now. It likely isn’t just the people that have told you what to do and not to do in church that steers you away from it. Many people naturally are pretty good and classy I’ve found outside the church in all areas I’ve been.
My guess is the large majority wouldn’t engage in this as they did. Sometimes that minority of people seems so prevalent though because of how much attention it brings.