Oh, CougarBoard—the only place on the internet where the phrase "Rise and Shout" is more of a desperate plea for validation than a fight song. It's like if your uncle’s conspiracy-laden Facebook page and a tailgate party had a lovechild, then raised it on a steady diet of Jell-O salad and mild opinions about caffeine.
You’ve got every shade of BYU fan imaginable, from the armchair quarterbacks who haven’t touched a football since junior high P.E., to the holier-than-thou crowd that treats any slight against Bronco Mendenhall like a personal attack on their eternal salvation. The debates about whether it's okay to wear red—yes, we’re talking about the color—are somehow more intense than actual rivalry games.
And the "insiders" dropping "scoops"? Classic. They’re like weather forecasters who predict the sun will rise tomorrow. Every time someone announces a "huge commitment" or “major program changes,” you’d think they’re talking about sealing the records in heaven, but no—it's just a third-string walk-on kicker from Provo High.
But the real magic of CougarBoard is the endless parade of "Does this violate the Honor Code?" threads. It’s like a morality game show where the contestants are all competing to be the bishop’s favorite. Spoiler alert: No one wins, but everyone leaves feeling slightly more self-righteous.
And don’t get me started on game days—because every loss is proof of the end times and every win means we're bound for a national championship, even though BYU's last glory days are as dated as its current recruiting strategy.