Let’s just cut to the chase: my post about the BYU vs. Colorado game was so bad, it should be studied as a case study in “What Not to Do” for future CougarBoard posters. If there were an award for the worst take of the year, I’d win it in a landslide—though I doubt anyone would bother to show up for the ceremony, not even my wife who undoubtedly will kick me to the couch tonight.

Let me be clear—BYU was prepared. The players brought heart, the coaches brought strategy, and Cougar Nation brought the passion. Meanwhile, I brought… nothing. Just a rambling mess of words that failed to capture the grit and determination of our Cougars. It was like looking at a perfectly cooked filet mignon and saying, “Eh, it’s a hunk of protein.” Truly, a masterclass in missing the point.

And now, I fully accept that my man card isn’t just up for debate—it’s already been repossessed and is probably being auctioned off on eBay as we speak. Maybe the proceeds can go toward a fund for remedial sports commentary lessons, because clearly, I need them. Honestly, I’m surprised no one has shown up at my door with a Cougar-themed intervention banner and a stack of game film to educate me on what actually happened.

Thanks for putting up with me, even when I don’t deserve it. I’ll be sitting in the corner now, stemming and banging my head on the wall, reflecting on my mistakes and wondering how I managed to blow it so badly.

Yours Truly,
Don_Juan_El_Idiota