The conference because their team sucks at football and is getting their butts handed to them to the point where they have lost five straight conference games and are about to lose their sixth.

Judge: why are we here?

Harlan: well your honor, the Big 12 conference is mean to us. After we disparaged them, made fun of them, talked about how much better we are than them, called them a truck stop conference, and made it clear we were going to win every game on our way to the college football playoff, these teams had the audacity to repeatedly embarrass us and beat us and make us look like fools.

Judge: I see. And what are your damages?

Harlan: well…our ego has been irreparably damaged. We went from believing we were awesome and super cool and the best to realizing we can’t even compete in a crappy conference.

Judge: I see…but you’re Ute fans. Your ego can’t be damaged because it is disconnected from reality. Just keep telling yourself you are the greatest and the B1G will be calling any day now.

Harlan: well yes. That’s true. The B1G is calling any day now. Because we are the best and everyone wants us. In fact, I better leave in case the B1G is calling right now.