Step 4 in my 12 step program is making amends. So I would like to offer a few words in order to set the record straight.
Apparently there was a portion of my behavior during and after last night's in state game that the Big 12 conference apparently takes issue with. I am used to dealing with big boy conferences and big boy entrances, and I am still getting used to the special way things are done and handled in this quaint little conference. It has been pointed out that some of the less sophisticated may have been offended by my remarks or behavior. To set the record straight and to make whatever amends people think needs to be made, here is what really happened last night.
During most of the early parts of last night's game, I was in the president's suite where we enjoyed a lavish experience including an all-you-can-drink/eat buffet of little smokey weiners and Busch light.
Further, I had made the acquaintance of a stunning young lady named Candi (with an I) from West Valley who promised certain favors in exchange for some recreational narcotics and a couple of Benjamins. We got started on the blow during half time, and part way through the 4th quarter, we had finally run out of the good stuff. Someone mentioned white lines somewhere down on or near the field, so I made my way to that area as the game was winding up.
Apparently I am told that I may have entered the field of play towards the end of the game. I promise you that it was no way intended to shank any BYU players. I was just looking for Tito to score some rail.
As I was on the field as the game ended, my good friend and associate, Sir Kyle Whittingham, approached me and asked me if I wanted to ride on his motorcycle. Kyle has the neatest "hog" and I have envied his motorcycle for some time. He asked me to read a pre-printed message just before the customary post-game press conference, and told me if I did, I could ride on the back of his motorcycle with him sometime. Of course, who could refuse that!
I don't specifically recall what I read on camera. I have a hard time with short-term memory, and I was distracted trying to remember where Candi said to meet her after the game concluded. I am informed that the statement may have been construed by some to denigrate the team down south or whatever conference we're temporarily a member of.
I want to assure you that was not my intent. I did not intend to insult or be condescending towards that other school or the Big 12 conference in any way more than what is normal and customary at The University of Utah. I hope you take this in the spirit it is offered and sweep it all under the rug. We have found at the U that this is almost always the best course of action.
Sincerely,
Mark Harlan