navigate past the menu:
“Press one if you are undefeated”
“Press two if you have a chance to play in the CCG”
“Press three if you are expected to be bowl eligible”
“Press four if you have multiple conference wins”
“Press five if football sucks but you’ll have a good basketball team”
“Press six if this isn’t your year but you haven’t embarrassed yourself nationally”
“Press seven to repeat options. Otherwise, hang up and call back when an option applies.”