Agree that Pearl Harbor is a must if you haven't been, but otherwise avoiding Honolulu makes a better Hawaii experience.

People are divided about Polynesian Cultural Center. If you're older than 70 you'll probably love it.

Kualoa Ranch is pure tourist fluff. Some of my family did a movie tour and rode horses there. I'd rather not spend my time (or $$) on those things in Hawaii but I get that some people like it. People like shopping too but I have a very low tolerance.

If you're in moderately good shape, kayaking to the Mokes from Kailua is a good time.

For me Hawaii is about the setting, scenery, waves, food, wildlife, and ohana vibe. The water is so warm you can spend hours in it. There's almost always a steady stream of rideable waves. Lots of ways to adventure and relax.