Philosophical Musings

So what to do for a 100,000th post? On the one hand it seems like such a rare, albeit shameful, milestone should be memorialized in some fashion; but on the other hand why draw attention to something that would get me sent to the Infernal Abyss if I mentioned at the judgment bar that this was my greatest accomplishment while in mortality?


Acknowledgments

I’d like to thank Jefe, God, my parents, my children who still acknowledge me (even if it’s on a first name basis), friends, neighbors, passersby, fellow Americans, tourists still here on valid visas, Gaia and lax corporate internet controls endemic to the American workplace.

Oh. Yeah. The moderators too.


Random Thoughts

Over the course of 100,000 posts I’ve come to the conclusion that there are some people in the world, who if they became independently wealthy, accomplished everything in life they wished to, married the most gorgeous, non-psychotic spouse in the world, raised totally happy and self-fulfilled children would still somehow manage to pretend none of that existed so they could focus on the incomprehensible wrongs of PAT timeouts and insufficient alumni glad-handing. Pull that chin strap a little tighter, Don Quixote.

If love really makes the world go round, it must be because our beds overwhelmingly face westward.

With all due apologies to President Kimball, but no amount of success in the home can make up for the world of failures of President Obama during his 2 terms in office.

I’d like to a give a belated shout out to the handful of Neanderthals who managed to BBQ enough wooly mammoths and had too much fun going all Blazing Saddles at the campfire 10,000 years ago to send those polar caps scurrying back from whence they came. It’s pretty flipping cold as it is now.

Bruce Jenner had his picture on the wrong cereal box.

Where did that smell come from?

According to Jesus in 3rd Nephi and the Social Security Office, age 72 is good enough. Sincerely, the guy taking home only 45% of his paycheck.

If wishes were fishes and ifs and buts were candy and nuts, we’d all have some really funky trail mix.

I bet Snuffleupagus is an angry drunk.

Vegas cleaned up on wardrobe-related Super Bowl halftime bets this year.

I avoided the Noid and all I got was this lousy pizza.

I know why Stephen Hawking fears Artificial Intelligence: his computer voice would sue for residuals.

Yo mama is so stupid, she thinks using Pass Efficiency Differentials cause shrunken testicles, breast enlargement and Dale Murphy from getting into the HOF.

I remember when watching ISIS on TV affected something besides my stomach and my faith in humanity.

Nothing is impossible if you put your mind to it, unless that involves surviving a 1,000,000 volt charge being directly applied to your cerebral cortex.

Then again, Mick Jagger became a sex symbol.

If anyone at this point is still reading this post, I have justified my existence. ‘preciate ya.


If a picture is worth a 1,000 words, then a GIF is worth…