Certainly help, if not this immediate issue because it’s already come to a head, but to flesh out ways to recognize and resolve future issues before it gets to the “one spouse is so desperate they’re crying” stage.

While the initial response may not have been helpful I also think it is unhelpful to completely reject the idea that counselling should be immediately dismissed.

There could have been conversations or other signs that this was a larger problem than the OP thought before it got to this level. This part we don’t know.