every report I ever read during my career was drafted like that. It would have made my days go by much faster.

Q: What's the effective range on that weapon system?

HealthRanger: A bazillion gagillion miles, squared. Infinity with the right type of gonculator attached! It can probably reach out and vaporize your dead great grandma and your great great grandkids all at once. And that's on a bad weather day!

And the fact that he uses a convicted pedophile, an Iron Dome critic, and a North Korea apologist as his basis for truth? Well that just reads like a bad joke:

A pedophile, a guy who says the Iron Dome doesn't work and a dude who has a soft spot for the North Korean regime walk into a bar...