BYU v Southern Illinois, Provo

Jake Retzlaff gets the start and throws for four TDs . . . and no turnovers. CB goes into a frenzy trying to ascertain if Retzlaff has really improved or the directional school is just really that bad. BYU 45 Southern Illinois 10

BYU v Wyoming, stupidly in Laramie

Retzlaff runs the RPO. Martin breaks free for 170 yards and 3 TDs. Kalani does a jig in the 4th Q. Wyoming fans poor urine on BYU fans in disgust. BYU 35 Wyoming 20

BYU v #23 SMU, idiotically in Dallas

In a surprise move by ARod, Bohanon gets the start trying to fool SMU defense. Their defense is not phased as Retzlaff and Bohanon are basically carbon copies of one another. The game is a slugfest with the lead changing multiple times. BYU's defense sacks the SMU QB and scoops up the ball for a go ahead TD. Tom dances in the locker room and rips off his BYU shirt to expose an "Extend Kalani Again" shirt. Kalani dances. Everyone is happy with the massive upset against an elite P4 program. BYU 27 SMU 24


Then, conference play begins . . .