in my prior office send me an application she'd filled out for a part time job and she wanted me to proof read it. Inexplicably she began rambling about her father and his ideas about work ethics and at the end of the diatribe she said "He's a Ute fan so take that with a grain assault"

Three things there. She's an idiotic BYU fan trying to rip on her father, a Ute, she's insane for what she wrote in the first place on an application, and she's dumber than a bag of hammers for thinking that grain could somehow perform a military assault. Good stuff.