I cannot comprehend how all this weight is hitting you at the same time. Though, I'm worried that if there's retirement money and insurance death benefits scammers will take all of it. You need to protect what you will leave behind so your child can have the income that you would have provided.

Scammers notoriously prey on widows and look at obituaries because they know they're even more vulnerable in their loneliness. With a trust you could protect what you have so your wife and child can be supported after you pass. She may hate you in the short run, but at least you are giving them a brighter future.

While I was bishop an older sister in my ward got a new boyfriend a few months after being widowed. He then started asking for small things, few hundred here, Mac book there etc. Then they were engaged for over a year in which it progressively got worse. She ended up losing her 800k paid off house somehow and is now renting. She cut me off, her children tried exposing the scam with emails and evidence but she cut them off too.