We started a non negotiable date night every other week and a babysitter to relieve her for a 3 hour stint every other week.
We started a "for fun budget" one for her and one for me. Not massive but probably $150/mo that she needs to spend on herself (no permission needed from me) it's already earmarked. So she could treat herself and is expected to do so (massage, pedicure, clothes) whatever.
I set that up for myself as well so she didn't feel guilty. We also relieve eachother in the evening foe a couple hours once a week so one of us could go to the temple, shopping, hike, do whatever. Once again covering both of us to avoid guilt.
These are just important things to create balance.