Bottle up those delicious tears and ship them worldwide. I live in Washington State so my intake of salty Yewt tears has dropped off since moving from Provo. I tried Washington and Washington State tears, but those just lack the arrogant savory flavor of people who make accounts on rival boards just to troll.

$10 a bottle, $5 going to the players. I'd buy a case just for the playoffs and toss them in my drink fridge.