I can't dance. I'm a musician so I have rhythm but outside of that I can only moonwalk (thanks HS buddy for teaching me that - it's at the top of my resume). Therefore, I never had interest in school dances no matter how fluffy the girls' shoulders were. Not that anyone actually dances at HS dances but that's besides the point.

My senior year I was sitting in band with the other losers when this woman interrupted class wearing I kid you not, a full bunny costume; head to toe. Why a bunny costume? Inquiring minds want to know. She proceeded to do this entire song and dance which culminated with asking me to prom on behalf of her daughter, a flute player in the band who was quite woof.

With all eyes on me I begrudgingly admitted a "yes" because feelings were at stake and I'm generally a nice guy. The problem was, I had zero interest in this girl. The flute player, not the mom. Okay to clarify, I had no interest in either of them but now I was on the hook.

I never actually talked to this girl. Seriously not even one time before or after this event. I told a friend about my disinterest and word got back to her and she called it off. I also had to hear that from a friend. Off the hook!

Here's where the story gets less good for you and really good for me. Another girl then asked me and she was smoking hot. We ended up going double with another friend of mine and his gf. Suddenly I didn't mind going to a dance though I don't actually remember any dancing happening, as per usual.

It was a great night but I didn't even get to make out because I was also super shy. Never talked to her again either, unfortunately. She's probably in prison now. Why do I say that you ask? Dunno. I mean it's possible right. Her name was Misty so anything is possible.

That's the end of my story and no, you cannot have your 5 minutes back.

The end.