Say Grimes is unsuccessful, and the offense is a dumpster fire again. That’s great! Now you can find true happiness by condescendly reminding everyone that you knew this would happen. It’s also permissible to post diatribes that call into question others’ priorities in life, and their true measure of fanhood.

It’s more complicated if Grimes is successful, but still possible to assert your moral dominance on CB. In this scenario, you can tell everyone that the success is a direct result of you lowering expectations, and taking pressure off the team. You have navigate troubled waters in convincingly arguing that QBs are considering your expectations of them while they read the defense and pass the ball. But who is to say they aren’t? Certainly not the uneducated masses of CBers, who need I remind you were wrong about Detmer, the 2012 and 2016 election cycles, and don’t even pay tithing on gross. I raise my nose in distain!

In short, whatever happens, make it about you. This always brings happiness, or at least the appearance of it. Which is better than the real thing.