First. Don’t worry about it till after Christmas.
My dad was easy. Organized finances. He was really healthy until he wasn’t for just a short time. He took care of himself.
My mom is hard. She’s insistent about her stuff so she has 2 houses. One in Colorado that is my burden and one in Vegas that is a brothers burden. At some point it might have made sense to sell but now we need to wait to get step up in basis. She hasn’t taken great care of herself and modern medicine is keeping her going. It’s great to have her see grandkids and everything else but I’ve been to the ER about 6x this year. She now does at home dialysis and my oldest daughter is in between schooling so she helps her out a ton. I have really mixed feelings of compassion, frustration, and guilt for my lack of patience at times.
My advice is be organized. Make sure each spouse knows the financial plan and each other’s directives. Remind yourselves that your kids and grandkids love you and want to help but be reasonable and thoughtful about your home(s) and stuff. Take time to walk and lift a bit. Eat healthy.