[Phone ringing]

Verizon Customer Service Rep: Thank you for calling Verizon. How can I assist you today?

Donald Trump: Hello? Is this Verizon? This is Donald Trump. Listen, I’m having a little problem—big problem, actually. The internet is down. Not just for me, but for a lot of people. It’s a disaster!

Rep: I’m sorry to hear that, Mr. Trump. We’re aware of some outages in your area. Our team is working hard to resolve it.

Trump: Working hard? I don’t want to hear that. I want results. People are upset. They can’t stream, they can’t connect—total chaos! This is a huge issue!

Rep: I understand, sir. Our technicians are on it, and we expect to have it fixed shortly.

Trump: Short? It needs to be immediate. I mean, look, I’ve built some great things, tremendous things. If I were running this, it would be fixed in no time. We need to get the best minds on this!

Rep: We do have a dedicated team, sir, and they’re doing everything they can.

Trump: Dedicated? I hope they’re the best. This is a major inconvenience. Can’t you just flip a switch or something? I’ve seen it done!

Rep: Unfortunately, it’s not that simple, sir. We need to troubleshoot and ensure everything is working properly.

Trump: Troubleshoot? I don’t have time for troubleshooting! Just tell them to make it happen. People love their internet. They want to watch shows, check the news—very important stuff!

Rep: I assure you, Mr. Trump, we’re prioritizing this issue and will update you as soon as we can.

Trump: Update? I want you to fix it now! Get everyone on the line. I want to talk to your top people. Let’s make this happen—big league!

Rep: I’ll make a note of your request, sir.

Trump: You do that! And when this is over, let’s have a big celebration—everyone back online, big parties. Just get it done!

Rep: Thank you for your patience, Mr. Trump. We’re on it.

Trump: Great! Let’s get this internet back. America needs it!

[Call disconnects]