“If you ever drop your keys into molten hot lava, forget anout’em because man, they’re gone”

“my favorite uncle was uncle cave man, we’d all come home from school and go play in his cave. Sometimes he’d eat one of us, it wasn’t until later we found out he was a bear”

"I wish I would have a real tragic love affair and get so bummed out that I'd just quit my job and become a bum for a few years, because I was thinking about doing that anyway"

Yes indeed, thanks for the reminder