Yeah I agree, all the kids are out of the house there is no reason my mother in

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Dec 23, 2019
2:50:23pm

Nuke Starter

Yeah I agree, all the kids are out of the house there is no reason my mother in

law couldn’t/shouldn’t be working. My wife’s youngest sister is now out of the house. We helped a lot more with Christmas and groceries when she was still at home because it wasn’t fair to her. Now that they are out of the house I have a harder time wanting to help out because my wife is tired of it.

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Nuke

Previous username: Bleedblue84
Bio page: Nuke
Joined: Aug 9, 2017
Last login: Nov 23, 2024
Total posts: 9,882 (243 FO)

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Messages

Author

Time

What is your policy on lending family members money? I’ve loaned family members

Nuke

12/23/19 1:20pm

If you can afford it, I might go ahead and "loan" the money.

ReyOso

12/23/19 1:22pm

your policy is correct....

TXJason

12/23/19 1:22pm

A few questions:

a priori

12/23/19 1:22pm

Never lend. Have given before.

Zedhead

12/23/19 1:24pm

Yea I would/have done.. but the concept of so many stay at home moms

cougfanz

12/23/19 1:51pm

Yeah I agree, all the kids are out of the house there is no reason my mother in

Nuke

12/23/19 2:50pm

I've always heard that you should never loan family $. Just give it.

Ragnar Danneskjold

12/23/19 1:24pm

But what if you don't want to give it?

Superkid

12/23/19 1:24pm

Then don't. I think if you would loan it, just give it. If you wouldn't let an it, don't give.

Ragnar Danneskjold

12/23/19 1:25pm

Yeah. I probably wouldn't.

Superkid

12/23/19 1:25pm

If family asked if they could borrow $, I think my reply would be "I was about to ask you the same thing!"

Ragnar Danneskjold

12/23/19 1:27pm

Then don't give it.

Eddie

12/23/19 1:25pm

Good to know.

Alister Mackenzie

12/23/19 1:27pm

RE: Good to know.

Ragnar Danneskjold

12/23/19 2:40pm

I think the poster is correct where you need to view it as a gift

D.T. Survivor

12/23/19 1:34pm

That's a tough question.

Eddie

12/23/19 1:24pm

I have only loaned family when they are doing well financially. Otherwise it is a gift.

Baron

12/23/19 1:25pm

Is this something the church can help them out with? Or would that lead down a

12/23/19 1:28pm

The church wants family to go first right?

JollyGreenGiant

12/23/19 1:32pm

It would lead them to having to maybe help clean the church building

BigTex

12/23/19 1:32pm

That sounds like it would be good for them.

BrobaFett

12/23/19 1:36pm

Family should always be the first source of help before

1CougFan

12/23/19 1:32pm

I disagree. If they've paid tithing, the church is more able to help than anyone

BrobaFett

12/23/19 1:35pm

The church disagrees with you.

12/23/19 1:45pm

Agreed. Elder Ballard in the video “Sacred Funds, Sacred Responsibilities”

DrTeeth

12/23/19 1:50pm

Yeah, well, I guess we will agree to disagree.

BrobaFett

12/23/19 1:56pm

The church disagrees with you, not me.

12/23/19 2:08pm

From Handbook 2 Section 6.1.1

a priori

12/23/19 2:13pm

Agree. If true tithing payers than the church needs to be step up first imo

cougfanz

12/23/19 1:52pm

Have never seen "Personal rainy day fund" on the Church donation slips.

CougarThug

12/23/19 3:46pm

My biggest concern is what happens 30 days later?

BrobaFett

12/23/19 1:33pm

The church teaches to go to family before the church

D.T. Survivor

12/23/19 1:34pm

If they go to the kids and the kids pay, have they improved?

BrobaFett

12/23/19 1:37pm

Family isn’t always the best route for sure

D.T. Survivor

12/23/19 1:41pm

That's what I worry about. With their parents owing so much back rent

BrobaFett

12/23/19 1:45pm

I think it's important to note that the church handbook says...

Eddie

12/23/19 5:41pm

FIL isn’t a member, mom isn’t active. I don’t know that I would encourage them

Nuke

12/23/19 1:37pm

I don't know. It's a tough thing for sure.

BrobaFett

12/23/19 1:47pm

"sole purpose"?

panguitch

12/23/19 2:37pm

<< Deleted >>

BrobaFett

12/23/19 5:02pm

Really good question

D.T. Survivor

12/23/19 1:36pm

I did a loan of a reasonably large sum to my brother about 10 years ago.

Colorado

12/23/19 1:43pm

If you can afford it, give rent through January with heavy strings attached.

CocaColaRecovery

12/23/19 1:46pm

This is why the church encourages members to go to family first.

jvquarterback

12/23/19 3:12pm

I don’t like the effect of gifts but I don’t want to be their creditor. So here

DirtyWater

12/23/19 1:49pm

In the past.

BYihateU

12/23/19 1:54pm

You can give but 99% chance you would get a loan back in that situation.

mudpupper

12/23/19 2:02pm

I cosigned for my sister once. Yeah I lost out on some money. Didn't feel too

12/23/19 2:04pm

Our philosophy for our kids is relevant here: "we help kids who help themselves"

BlooGeek

12/23/19 2:06pm

Never loan, but always give if I can.

BYUtka

12/23/19 2:20pm

I've never loaned any money - but I've helped a lot of family.

12/23/19 2:44pm

I don't loan family money, but I do give it if they need it.

BYU Grounds

12/23/19 3:30pm

If you loan or gift any money, pay their debt directly.

CougarThug

12/23/19 3:52pm

If you can even marginally afford it, just pay there the rent for them. I don’t

Bullrider

12/23/19 7:52pm

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