It’s a fine school, and I’m appreciative of the opportunities I had there. But in a lot of ways, BYU is just a really big school with a few quirky rules and an odd air of self-importance.
But I think the heart of what you’re saying is correct - there’s this “meaning” that gets attached to BYU and for one reason or another, it’s often what causes Mormons to end up disliking the school.