Although I would argue that the money given by parents to these kids doesn't "ruin" them, because in most cases they were already ruined anyway.

But the reverse of what you said is also true. There is a downside to making your kids pay for everything when they are 18 or before (since you said they have to pay for their own missions, I assume that they were earning and saving well before their 18th birthdays, correct)?

The downside is that young kids often take a SHORT TERM view of life instead of long term. Just like I've seen kids ruined by their parent's money, I've also seen them ruined by working and earning what equates to $35,000 a year and thinking, "well, this is pretty good, as a single 18 year old I can have a pretty good life on $35K a year, I'm sure I'll go to college eventually," except they never return. $35K is great if you are single, but not if you want a family. So, I think it's interesting that you blame the paying for college movement for ruining kids who end up in their parent's basement because I've seen the opposite have the same effect.

In my extended family, I had one uncle who was a real hardyewt. He had 3 sons who all worked every summer at places like Little Caesar's and Subway. But they got so used to having spending money and cool CD players and shoes that they kept their summer jobs through the year, got mediocre grades, partied just as hard as everyone else, and of course gave up on college. They were doing pretty well as 18-year-olds, (none of them went on missions, interesting that overtime they got more comfortable working on Sundays and missing church), but as 30 and 40-year-olds they are doing terribly. None of them went college, they are all inactive, 2 of them have kids out of wedlock, one spent time in jail for meth possession. When I was younger I'd always hear about how hard working they were because they had a job and went to school, while spoiled kids like me got to focus our time on studying.