Make a bowl game: Success!!
9-10 Wins: Ha-ha, ha-ha.
Make the Big 12 Championship Game: When did you stop taking your meds?
Win the Big 12 regular season: Lavell Edwards sighting at the Provo temple.
Win the Big 12 championship and auto-bid to the inaugural playoffs: Jim McMahon converts.
Win a playoff game: a glorious light appears over Jerusalem...
To be continued?