I spoke with my buddy, the attorney. I showed him the video and explained the situation. He gave me some pointers, but told me I should fight it, and he estimates I have probably a 70% chance of reducing the fine if I argue it correctly.
If I do get that pity from the judge that I didn't get from any of you, I'll be sure to follow up with the board.
Until then, feel free to keep mocking away.